It’s 12:29 AM and I’m listening to a live performance of The Naked And Famous’s full show, right now it’s Young Blood and they’re KICKING ASS. They just put out another album this Friday (Recover) and as that’s amazing I felt the need to look for more amazingness of them. Since I love live performances I’ll scour Youtube for videos. Luckily The Naked And Famous posted live performances themselves so there’s different angles and the audio isn’t completely washed out by all the screams by their fans.

Although I don’t mind that in songs. If there’s live versions on Spotify, I love them. I’m at a point where I know which song is which by the screams of the crowds in the first few seconds of the song. Especially The 1975’s live album. Is that weird? Probably. Kinda. I am way too good at recognizing songs in a few second. It can be the first note on a piano and I’ll know which song it is. That’s just me I guess

Anyways, why I love live versions. Please just let me hear the crowd scream and sing along! Let me hear people enjoying the music with passion! Let me hear…. What it’s like to be at a concert because in the current state of things, concerts are kinda out of the question eh? I got tickets last October for The 1975, to see them in March. It then got postponed to this October because they decided to put their time in the album. THEN it of course got postponed to NEXT March, for what I assume are obvious reasons.

I had to work today, I still work at a flower shop and I still love it. I’ve become somewhat of a Sunday gal as I only have shifts on that specific day so it was kind of weird to be working other days again…. Anyways.

I think we sold flowers to a potential drug dealer?? I mean okay here’s what happened. This guy walks in at around 8:30 PM and he needs a big bouquet of roses, the big, expensive ones. And a teddy bear that was kind of big. Not as big as the teddy bear I got from my boyfriend for our anniversary (this is not a brag, it’s so big that I literally don’t know where to put it in my room) but still pretty big. Then he also wanted a singular rose with it, and a small teddy bear, sitting on a stick, for in the big bouquet of roses. Now, the stick was kind of small and the roses were long so the poor bear got put another stick up its arse (RIP).

This all was pretty expensive and this shaggy lookin dude just whipped out a whole stack of cash, perfectly stacked, only 10 and 20 euros. I was working with one other colleague and as wrapping everything took a while and there was literally no one else in the store so I asked him what all this was for. “It’s for a first date”. I can only imagine the look on the date’s face when the guy comes around with a 50 cm bouquet and all these very Valentine-y presents.

To be honest, I think roses are kind of overrated. Especially red roses. It seems like a thought-less gift to me, you know? It’s like, “okay, I have to give my lover something to express my love for them, what should I do? Oh I know, red roses!” These are my thoughts about red roses, which I promptly told a guy on Valentines day I was selling a bouquet of way-overpriced roses to when I was asked whether I would be happy receiving them. :)

I consider myself a very honest employee. I’ll tell you when your selection of flowers together is absolutely horrifying, when flowers are old, what I would choose. I also make the “bulging eyes monkey” meme eyes to my colleague when people are rude. I have face journeys in real life, but when I sit behind my laptop or phone I hardly laugh out loud anymore. I wonder whether that is because what I’m looking at isn’t funny or that I just don’t enjoy the same things anymore.

To the potential drugdealer from before, I said that we had to stick another stick up the teddy bear’s ass. I said that to a CuStOmEr.

This one time a guy wanted a very prickly cactus (please don’t hate me but I reallllyyy don’t like cactuses). He wanted a pot around it, too, and the only way to put said cactus in a pot is by dropping it in the pot. He liked the pot so it was a done deal! I said “thank god you like it because I did NOT know how I’d ever take it out again”. In Dutch of course but you get the point.

To the every day customer I have no personality, I say the same few lines. “Is it for yourself/ a present?” “the total is X pLeAsE” “go ahead (and pin now)” “would you like your receipt?” “bye! (politely)”. It’s kind of boring but what else am I supposed to say? Then I turn into myself again when people want something or want help picking. Still smiling, always smiling.

Believe me, I do love working and I think it’s important to smile to customers. The competitor (and cheaper oops) flower shop have these employees that just look at you like you’ve said something really offensive and can’t wait till you leave. So smile!

I like employees/people that are working that are just chillin and brutally honest too. Shout out to you for having a personality! I had to go to the doctor and my doctor is like that. It certainly made me feel more relaxed and comfortable when talking about uncomfortable things about myself I kept to myself for months.

I’ve started using more fancy words in my verbal communication lately. Most of the words are just butchered and translated of English words into Dutch because the languages are similar anyways and if I’m confidently saying the words nobody will notice it right?

I also started watching bestdressed on youtube recently, she’s like that too. I love that. Brutally honest. She has this video called “altering my clothes while bleeding out of my vagina 🤠”. Go watch her if you’re into fashion or apartment makeovers or chatty videos overflowing with sarcasm.

She recently made a video about turning herself into a E-girl and BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING she made so many great points in that video. Society views anything that has a largely teenage female audience has no “value”. Obviously they hold value but they are looked down upon in society. Have you ever noticed that pattern? Some examples are Uggs, Starbucks, Tik Tok, One Direction/Taylor Swift etc. Especially the artists have a large female fanbase.

I used to be ashamed of being grouped with “those kind of teen girls”. I always felt the need to prove to myself that I wasn’t part of those “simple minded, BASIC” girls. That’s what I thought. I guess it was also society that conformed me this way. It’s so weird when you really think about it. Let me enjoy things goddamnit! For example I love Taylor Swift and I never wanted to admit to this fact, not even to my own boyfriend. Until a few weeks ago. I’m 20 now and was still impacted by stupid societal beliefs.

Ashley explained this concept a lot better in her video so I’ll put it at the end of this article so you can check her out as well. I believe she’s also the reason (I’ve been watching her a lot okay) I’ve been wanting to renovate my room. Also I’m just cleaning out my entire room. I really don’t know where I get the motivation.

I hated the online classes I had since March until the summer holiday. I mean, some teachers can pull it off but some teachers…. I have one that wants to sidetrack for 5 minutes for every 2 minutes of actual important stuff. What did I learn from his lessons? He has a type of buttercup in his backyard, and the only reason I remembered that was because I love plants too much + I thought it was funny.

The last two periods were kind of a joke with online exams. Everyone works together, looks everything up. Surely many more people passed because of these exams. Except when you plagiarize your chemistry test (shoutout to those people who’ll now probably won’t be able to go into their third year because of plagiarism).

What am I doing my 3rd year of Environmental Sciences? I’m glad you asked because that was the idea of this whole article and now I’m about 1500 words in and it’s 1:28 AM and I NEED TO PACK FOR MY VACATION TOMORROW MORNING AND EAT OREO CAKE.

This September I’m going to follow a halfyear course on Climate Change because that’s what I find interesting and want to learn yet again more about. The University is too far away so I am going dorming with another girl who’ll also study there. We have online classes for the most part but we’ll have to be there a little bit too and I’m not doing the 5 hours with public transit every day.

We got this big room that I’m really excited about. It’s not really a dorm but it’s a room on the second floor in someone’s house. An apparently highly religious person because we asked if we could come over for dinner (we still need to move) and she’ll be fasting and only drinking juices so she won’t eat with us. Today I learned that a broth/juice diet is a thing. You drink liquids.

I wonder whether your teeth will get tired from eating once you can actually eat again.

So I’ll live in someone else’s house, far away from home. In a live-love-laugh house. (she had these wooden quirky signs everywhere. Nothing against them but it just had facebook-mom vibes. But she was extremely kind so I guess it’ll be fine. I’m excited to see what this new part of my life will have in store for me.

I’m going to the sea for a bit next week. We’ll probably be too late to see some Noctiluca (the blue algae that burst blue colors when you touch it at night). My mom has been buzzing about that the last few weeks. She really wants to see it but we don’t exactly live close to the sea so there have been many missed opportunities. Being across the country in the middle of the night is kind of scary. Or I had yet another migraine attack. Or not in the mood. Or tired from work. Maybe next year?

But I will hopefully be CHILLIN amongst very little people ‘cause safety and I don’t want to spend my vacation surrounded by SCREAMING CHILDREN. We’ll see.

I hope you liked my random too many AM thoughts.

Amazing artists to check out because I love them: EXES, Phoebe Bridgers, The Naked And Famous, The Chicks.


Sabine (@the_night_skies)