Last week was way different than I expected. My expectations were meeting with a bunch of nice people and hanging out with them, having a nice first week...but that wasn't the case. My school's orientation week was such a failure. We only sit in big auditoriums and listened to a bunch of people about how great Prague is and how this school is great. With that, I couldn't meet people and be alone until my fifth day. I think you can understand how I felt being alone in a country I don't know their language or basically anything else.

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I was overwhelmed. Constant feeling of wanting to cry and struggling with everything. First of all, I am not homesick. Yes, it would feel great to go back to my own school but that's because it's frustrating not being able to understand any written word or only speaking 1-2 words because nobody knows English. I was about to cry the other day because I couldn't buy milk. There were many milk-alike cartons and many brands. I know it seems fake, why would anybody cry over milk, but it was devastating not being able to do a simple act like this. I don't cry tho. I don't let myself cry, cuz I feel like I cry, it's over and I have failed.

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I keep thinking "I can do this, but don't want to" as if I am trying to convince myself that I can do this. My sister has been living abroad since she was 16 and she didn't have any problems, that I know of ( we are not so close, so even she did I may not know). Similar case with my favorite cousin. So I keep telling myself, once in my life, don't quit, don't be the little sister and grow up. That's why I keep telling myself, I can do this, but I don't want to.

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I love this post, but it feels like a lie after a while.

I keep telling people how great in here and how I am used to living here. Because I don't want people to know that I am having a hard time. I sometimes want to write to my therapist back home, but don't let myself. Not now. Maybe after two more weeks, and then I'll allow myself. Maybe this will end. For now, I will escape from reality with books and movies.

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My school starts this week and I hope to make more friends. And at the end of week 5, I want to write, how it turned out great. Also, I will learn Czech, so the language barrier will disappear as well. Can you recommend me indie movies, hopefully, have a theme like the pictures I've put under? Special thanks to people who have written to me and offered help.

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Thank you for reading, and see you soon.