Hey lovers

Discovering who I am and being true to myself is something that I am continuing to work on. As I am growing and changing, I am discovering more about the creative and crazy person that I am.

Finding yourself may sound like an inherently self-centered goal, but it is actually an unselfish process that is at the root of everything we do in life. In order to be the most valuable person to the world around us, the best partner, parent etc, we have to first know who we are, what we value and, in effect, what we have to offer. This personal journey is one every individual will benefit from taking. It is a process that involves breaking down – shedding layers that do not serve us in our lives and don’t reflect who we really are. Yet, it also involves a tremendous act of building up – recognizing who we want to be and passionately going about fulfilling our unique destiny – whatever that may be. It’s a matter of recognizing our personal power, yet being open and vulnerable to our experiences. It isn’t something to fear or avoid, berating ourselves along the way, but rather something to seek out with the curiosity and compassion we would have toward a fascinating new friend. With these principles in mind, the following guide highlights five of the most universally useful steps to this very individual adventure.

1. Make sense of your past
In order to uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story. Being brave and willing to explore our past is an important stepping stone on the road to understanding ourselves and becoming who we want to be. It isn’t just the things that happened to us that define who we become, but how much we’ve made sense of what’s happened to us.

2. Differentiate
Differentiation refers to the process of striving to develop a sense of ourselves as independent individuals. In order to find ourselves and fulfill our unique destinies, we must differentiate from destructive interpersonal, familial and societal influences that don’t serve us. To lead a free life, a person must separate him/herself from negative imprinting and remain open and vulnerable.

3. Think about what you want
There’s a tendency in life to focus on the negative. Many of us fall too easily into victimized thoughts and complaints about our circumstances and surroundings rather than orienting ourselves toward positive goals, strategies and solutions. Put simply, we think a lot about what we don’t want instead of concentrating on what we do. Knowing what we want is fundamental to finding ourselves. Recognizing our wants and desires helps us realize who we are and what’s important to us. This may sound simple, but most of us are, to varying degrees, defended against our feelings of wanting. We may feel guarded, because we don’t want to get hurt. Wanting makes us feel alive and, therefore, vulnerable in the world.

4. Recognize your personal power
Personal power is based on strength, confidence, and competence that individuals gradually acquire in the course of their development

When we know what we want, we are challenged to take power over our lives. No longer are we engaging in a spiral of negative thinking that tells us all the things that are wrong with the world around us or all the reasons we can’t have what we want. Instead, we are accepting ourselves as a powerful player in our own destiny. Harnessing our personal power is essential to both finding and becoming ourselves.

5. Practice Compassion and Generosity
Mahatma Gandhi once said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” In addition to improving our mental and physical health and lengthening our lifespan, generosity can enhance one’s sense of purpose, giving our lives more value and meaning to us. Studies even show that people get more joy from giving than from getting. If we want to find our way in life, it’s beneficial to practice generosity as a mental health principle and take on a compassionate and attitude toward ourselves and others. People are generally happier when they create goals that go beyond themselves. These individuals show care and concern for others and practice generosity.