i've come to the realization that it is a lot harder for me to try and let him go that i thought.
i keep thinking
'hey, it's okay to temporarily let go of him.'
'i keep getting signs that we are meant to be.'
'oh, you know. i don't really want to get with someone else for me to go through a heartbreak and then go back to him.'
'if i just wait long enough, he'll turn around.'
when the truth is none of that is reality and he has been with other women since the day i laid eyes on him
and he's not going to stop just
because of me
because i want him to
and because i want him
because i think that i need him
because i feel like he should want me
or because i want him to feel what i feel
even if what i feel is not real.
who am i to him?
the fact that i need to ask
the fact that i need to be made aware
the fact that i don't know the answer should be enough proof for me.

c.t.h, sloppy feelings and shit