I keep trying to not rethink of painful moments. But they keep replaying in my head.
Every detail, every sigh, my thoughts don't skip a beat.
I can see the memories clear and it's so real to me.
Even though I know I cant change anything, why do I keep going back to see what I could of done different.
Could I have said anything to change your mind?
Could I have done anything to change your feelings?
Could I have tried anything to change your intentions?
Yes.
The answer is yes.

The truth is I can always do anything beyond what I would normally do.
I can say anything but your response of silence keeps me quite.
I can do things to make you feel better but your gestures keep me still.
I can try new things but your conditions keep me confined.
I trapped myself. And I allowed it to be done.
I need to be strong on my own.
But I'm afraid of losing.
Now that I am standing beside myself I lost the one thing I never thought I could lose.
Myself.

I lost my myself being like you.
saying anything but never anything nice.
Ungrateful for the things you provide because I never get a "thank you" either.
careless to feelings.
careless to needs.
I allowed myself to be a reflection of who you are. And now I'm not pretty anymore.