dear rue,

it takes guts to write this, because you don't like to confront your life even to yourself. but you have to be confident. there are lot of things going wrong in your life, you moved away to florida for a year and it wasn't worth it, you've been depressed for some time, you've seen some shit that scarred you and challenged you. but in all that time, i guess the trauma grew on you, your more aware of real world matters, always thinking about your future, your goals, your principles even if it frightens you. but even now your life is still not easy. there's a whole in your heart and your bleeding out, and one day your going to be empty. you'll have to find you, fill yourself up with changes, new goals, more principles. your going to smile more, become happy. i know your shy, you don't like change, you think a lot to yourself, you don't voice your opinions, your independant. but if there's one thing your proud of, it's how you've come this far and not damaged yourself so badly. you don't talk about this often, your a book so closed it's taped shut, because you don't like opening up to people. you observe people before you let them into your lives. and that's good, keep it up. people act like shit, you of all should know that, and it gave you that power to control how you percieve people's actions and words and whether or not those actions and words deserve your time. this is hard to write. but your young, your shit life won't last long. you have talent for art. you like music that's not from this generation. your a cinephile. your a lot of good things, not just bad things. i know one day you'll wake up and you won't have anything to stress about and your free. it takes time and your impatient as hell, but the time is worth it.
"solitude, is holding yourself while you're falling apart, while knowing that you can still be whole" -juanse dizon

~love rue