my own space

God, I need an apartment.

I need my own space. I can't STAND to be here any longer. I need white rooms with white walls and plants and windows.

I need to open my windows and take a deep breath. Like the plants I am suffocating.

I need to have my mess. Everywhere.

Paint, pencils, pens, clothes. I need my mess because it is MINE.

I need to be able to get a glass of water in the dead of night without everyone knowing where I am. I need to sit outside on the balcony and breathe in the night air.

I need space.

Or else I'm going to lose my fucking mind.