I wrote this article months after a break-up from my first love. I decided to post it now because my feelings are still the same. I know no one else will read this but if you do, maybe I won't feel alone... like there are other people out there who understand, feel the same way and have opinions on the topic so this, is my story of heartbreak and how I viewed myself and still do.
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everyone wonders why you keep to yourself. every day you wake up and wish you were someone else. every time someone tries to be with you or tells you you're beautiful, you push them away & won't let yourself believe them. you won't let yourself be happy because you don't think that's what you deserve so you make sure no one can get close enough to your heart to break it.. and then someone does, you finally let someone in & they promise you the world. they tell you that you're everything to them & they don't know what they would do without you. they make you feel like you're everything anyone could ever want & that you're worth more than you'd ever thought. time goes by and it stops, but gradually. he goes from telling you you're beautiful to telling you you're stupid. he goes from making you feel like you're his world to making you feel like you owe him your world. he goes from giving you all his time to blowing you off bc you aren't worth it anymore. and now how do you feel? after time & time again not letting people into your life bc you knew they would break you & this one person who you actually let in breaks you, don't you feel stupid? don't you feel worthless again? don't you feel like there's no reason for you to live or breathe or think? why should you take up space on this earth that someone else deserves, someone who's prettier & funnier & worth it? so, why do you continue to breathe when someone else obviously should take your place?