I know I'm crazy.
How could I not know?
It consumes my every thought--
my every feeling of every waking second.
The crazy has always been here, living amongst the shadows in my head.
It tells me things I don't like to be told.
It whispers poison into my veins, infecting my every word and thought and deed.

Don't talk to them, they don't like you.

Do you see that person over there? They're talking about how they'd hate themselves if they looked like you.

Do you see them? They're staring at you. They're saying you don't belong here. And they're right, of course. You really don't belong here.

Stop talking to them. Just stop. Can't you tell that they're annoyed by you?

They don't understand what you're trying to say, so just shut up.

Do you see the look on their face? You can just tell that they're thinking about how unlucky they must be to get stuck with a weirdo like you.

They all hate you.

You're so different from them.

You don't belong anywhere, and you never will, so just stop trying.

And don't even think for a second that there's a chance they might like you, because you know that you're wrong.

The moment they're done with you, they'll leave.

They always do.

No one stays, and no one ever will.

And it's not like you deserve for them to stay either.

Because you don't.

Because you really are just as awful as everyone's thinking, and you always will be.

It will never change.

It will always be like this.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Because you're you, and they're them.

And if you can't even make yourself happy in paradise, then how can you possibly believe that it'll ever get better?

Seriously, how?

You can hear ukuleles playing right outside your window,
and yet you still feel nothing.

You really are as crazy as everyone thinks.

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

You can pretend as much as you want.

You can pretend that people like you.

Love you.

Want you to be around.

But they don't.

And they never will.

And it's not like you can die either.

You're still much too hopeful to even consider an awful thing like that.

But who knows, maybe one day that will change.

Good luck with that.

Good luck with living a life you want nothing more than to trade in.

Good luck with being crazy.