Day Eleven!
Strangest Place I've Ever Injured Myself

Hello! :)

This is something that can divide people. I think, that when you do these things as if it was some kind of a show, it's shameful. If people cut or something in public places they are doing it to get attention. Of course, if you are so depressed that you don't care anymore, it's a different story. It's also possible, that you feel so bad and become so addicted that you can't help but go in a public bathroom or something, it just tells how bad the situation is. Me, personally, I haven't done it anywhere public. Just home or somewhere else safe and alone.

But there is one exception. I was in a really brutal fight with my ex-boyfriend and it got ugly. I found out that he had lied to me about some serious stuff, and first I had a panic attack. I just became silent and I accepted everything. Then, he started telling me that it wasn't OK from his behalf and that he had done it again and so on. I just felt so broken and embarrassed. I took a knife and just screamed, trying to cut myself. I am not sure if I would have really done it or not because it wasn't me. We ended up crying and he was really shocked about how I turned all my anger towards myself. It was a wake-up call. I was so broken that I couldn't handle any drama or distress.

Don't worry, we are still the closest friends and everything is alright. We have talked out all of it and it feels like we share those memories together forever and that makes us us. We were, and are, both broken but we try to heal. Differently, but somehow together. Sharing those difficult years.

But yeah. That was my crazy moment. Not my proudest day, to be exact. I'm still embarrassed and full of shame. But it made me realize how on edge I was. I would never hurt someone else but me. So don't get it wrong. I am kind to myself nowadays. Even if I feel like cutting, I tell myself to calm down and breath. It doesn't always work but I get better. It gets better.

Thanks for reading! Hope you don't see me as some kind of a psycho based on what I told. We all have our weak moments. And sometimes the best way to overcome things is by telling them and talking about them. Thank You for your love and support.

And to my friend, if you are reading this: thank you for your support and understanding. It wasn't easy, I wasn't easy. It's still not easy. But I am here for you!

-SONJA xxx