have you ever looked someone in the eye
and asked yourself
where have you been all my life
or has that person been you
in the long mirror
on the back of your door
in your room

have you ever looked yourself up and down
turning side to side
slouching over
and then standing up
straight
like a string is pulling you up and up

have you every realized
how different if is to feel confident
how good it feels
to do take care of yourself
maybe do something small
just for yourself
just for a few hours

and i,
i used to be a seed
and now i have blossomed
i never knew that i could do it
i have tried this before
but given up quite a few times

this time
it has been seven weeks
three days
two hours
maybe thirty minutes
how does a mind go
from weeds
to blossoms
green grasses

i tell my friends
i can't keep a diary
unless i am talking to an actual person
will you be my diary
will you keep my secrets

i look around this room
with complete and utter
disappointment
if i knew that girl
i would walk right up to her
i want your waist line
i would say
i want your tiny hips
i want your curly hair
i want your smile
i want your happiness
i want your confidence

i haven't looked inside myself
but i can see my bones from the outside
just not where i want to see them
the fat is not in the right places
have you ever felt the same

i know we are all beautiful
i know these things
from the start
i don't want to act on them
i don't want to stop
i know i am not alone but
it's clear to me
because i will never be free