Behold the Queen of Awkwardness.

Laughing when you have to stay serious
A month ago the principal was scolding our class. She started accusing random people for doing something they apparently didn't do, which was ridiculous. The whole class was dead quiet, but of course I was the only one who found this situation absurdly funny. Now when rethinking everything, which I always do, I don't know why I started laughing like a maniac. I tried to suppress my laughter, but I ended up making these strange seal noises. Everyone was looking at me with judgement and I got nervous and it got even worse. But I have my ways in making myself sad and depressed, and I started thinking about the dog from Marley and Me in order to calm myself down.

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Hiccuping
In my culture there is a belief that if you hiccup, someone is thinking about you. I want them to stop. I hiccup in the most inconvenient places- in class, in the cinema, when trying to go to sleep. Once I was hiccuping in class and my classmates began laughing because I hiccup very funny. And the teacher blamed me for making the class noisy. Sorry for not being able to control my involuntary body contractions.

Making a joke/reference that nobody gets
This happens to me all the time. Most of my friends seldom get my movie/book references or jokes as a whole. I remember telling a joke to my friends, which was hilarious, but I guess I was the only one who found it funny. I felt so geeky and from embarrassment I started to look everywhere but them. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned and found one of my classmates who was smiling. At first I thought he was making fun of me and just snapped at him and asked him what he wanted. He said that the joke was indeed funny. I don't know if he did it because he pitied me or he just really found me the next Jim Carrey, but it was sweet of him. Plus, I felt like the Anchorman.

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Tripping
I can trip on everything including flat surfaces. But my trademarks are stairs. My first time walking on heels was disastrous even though they weren't that high. Make a guess where I feel first. And it was in front of nearly 100 people. I feel down the stairs in Scarlett O'Hara way. From top to bottom. I had bruises on my knees for weeks.

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Not understanding what's going on
I hate when my friends are discussing something "serious" (girl drama) and I'm just standing there and wondering what the hell is happening. And they asking me what to do, and me the intellectual saying whatever you think is right. That is my answer to everything. Or when somebody is talking to you and you aren't listening to them, and they ask you something. I normally ask them to repeat but I usually can't hear what the fuck they're saying even after the 9th time and I end up nodding and agreeing.

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Flirting
I can't understand if a boy has interest in me or is just messing around with me. Why can't people just come to you and say simple things like "Hey, I like you" or "Would you like to go the cinema with me". You're not saying "I'm utterly in love with you and I want to spend my lifetime loving you(while playing Zorro Soundtrack in the background)".

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Bumping into random people
Lets talk about awkward. Today I bumped into this cute boy and I was dumbfounded. I couldn't say sorry or excuse me like every normal being, no I had to stare into him like the idiot I am. But the boy was chill and found the situation (or me) funny and just laughed at it. And when he started laughing I couldn't stop grinning at him. I can imagine looking like something between the Joker and Cheshire Cat.

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I wish

Interacting with people and life as a whole
The situations here are a million if not even more. Greeting somebody who you thought you know but you don't (the strange thing is that once a girl waved back at me, which was even more awkward), laughing out of nowhere for things that have happened ages ago and looking like a madman to the people who are around you, thinking about something and ending up staring in somebody, and looking at them like you're planing their murder, etc.

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The most recent was when one of my friends introduced me to her new boyfriend. They boy introduced himself to me and the first thing I did was not shake hands with him, but pet his dog. In their eyes I must have looked like the lady who speaks to animals from Crazy Vile.