...aches when I see people getting to live off their art and completely wasting it.

It is painful to see all these 'comedy' movies getting the high-quality production and the attention while nice indie movies go under.
It is painful to see these music videos that waste their budget on women as sexualized probs and on gold jewelry while nice meaningful music videos by unknown artists are not recognized.
It is painful to see YouTubers that do stupid non-funny content getting on the trending page and getting paid for their foolishness while small YouTubers with original and creative content don't get recognized

struggle, grunge, and tv image

I am a writer and am currently trying myself in digital art (not my art in the cover) and I can't tell you how much I admire people who get to do what they truly love and be able to live off it.
On bad days I can't even watch certain things because it makes me sad.
The movies, the Youtubers, the music videos.
It gets me so mad.
Sometimes I get jealous and think "I could've written that book" or "I could've directed this music video". ( I know that sounds really cocky but maybe some of you can relate to that "I could've done that" feeling).

arkansas, new places, and art image

My artistic heart aches.
So I decided to spend more time doing what I love to relieve the pain. It doesn't fully go away.
But at least I get to do what I love for some hours of the day.