Everyone says that I shouldn’t obsess over people and things. I don’t think they know that when you’re lonely and frail of heart, falling in love is all you can do. I fall in love with people that don’t know I exist. And the one person I did fall in love with, left me. He drew me along and brought me up. But, he left as soon as he came. I was so happy to actually have love staring at me right in the face. A person who I could reach out and touch. I was so close. Life is cruel like that. It gives you hope and unwanted feelings and just when you're completely happy...it gets ripped right out of your grasp.

I have an imagination that does more bad than good. I was alone a great deal of my life, left only with those thoughts. I fall in love with imaginary relationships and imaginary life situations. It’s okay to dream and okay to have goals. But, not the extent that I do. Loving something that’s not even real to the point that you believe those fantasies. It tears me apart when I have those moments of realizations. And it tears me apart even more when I hear it from other people.

I get left out so often. Whether it be my friends dating and loving other people or just forgetting to include me in weekly outings. I’m so adapt to being alone they must think I like it. No one wants to be alone. Not when you’re a hopeless romantic like me. Sometimes I wish that I had an emotional switch that I could turn off. Maybe forever.

I know that I’m young. I’m well aware of that. But, the fact that my life seems to screw up all the good things doesn’t give me hope. I used to have hope. I had it until my love left the country and didn’t talk to me anymore. And I still have it in my dreams. The dreams that have yet to backfire into my heart. Creating a whole new world of hurt.

I love him. Now. He will never know my name. He will never know my face, although I know his all too well. Don't make me cry or think about my future anymore. I don't think I could take it.

I love him. Now. He will never know my name. He will never know my face. But, then again I don't really know mine.