I actually wanted to write something different but i'm gonna go with my flow, you know.

I found some old memories of mine today because i was talking to her again. We talked about many things but mainly it's about her having company, so she doesn't feel lonely.
We talked about how many fights we had in those couple of years. I told her that i would anything for her, in a sarcastic way, but i meant it. I also told her that she hurt me and that i threw the letter she gave to me away. she asked me why and i told her that's my natural way of solving problems, i throw stuff away. I had to. i'm sorry.

She clearly didn't wanted to talk more about us in those years. And we just ended the call a few minutes before i wrote this article here. My mother and my brother were closely in my room, i assume that they heard but i don't think so.

She always makes me so happy. i want it to stop. i want to be released. Please release me. please. i'm begging you. stop giving me hope when there isn't. I feel like you want to be close but you should know that i'm hurting. badly.