I have returned to be that person who laughs and smiles as if everything in this world was fairies and unicorns, while inside of me once again, I feel as I'm drowning and I'm going to vomit.
When I'm with someone my brain disconnects, I just act.
When loneliness I need music to shut up my mind.
I feel the darkness stalking me in every fucking corner.
But I know the absurdity of sadness, the uselessness of torture, the heaviness of pain. I know that this is just the weakness of my strength. I know that if I want to survive I have to embrace the weeping, the loneliness, the sadness, the heaviness.
I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to flee
In the end it's the same old story ...
... I'm once again fucking lost.