Everybody tells me that you don’t deserve my friendship,maybe you don’t,maybe you do. Right now it feels like it’s the only thing to do because if I let you go until I’m better, there’s a chance you’ll leave forever and it’ll hurt. But right now I also don’t see how I’m suppose to get over you while you snap me every night. You ask what I’m doing and you still stick up for me. It sucks because there’s times in life where you do good things in life that seem bad and bad things in life where they seem good and they both end up fucking you up. I was in a bad spot before I met you. Many things even my close friends don’t know about because it hurts to talk about.Then I met you and you helped me. You came and I fell in love with you within the two weeks I met you. Now that you left I feel like I’m back there again.Maybe you weren’t supposed to come into my life.Maybe I was supposed to deal with things by myself and become strong by myself. I guess this might be the moment in where I do that. But it still hurts. It hurts how one person can make you so happy and useless all at the same time. I want to become better, I want to smile and when you come up to me to say hi I want to smile so much and you’ll know that,that smile won’t be because of you anymore. You’ll notice because I will be stronger. No matter how much I want to be with you right now. I know and I believe I will be better because I’m capable of it. No matter how many times I see you switching from girl to girl, I will still be giving all my love to myself rather than giving it to people who don’t care about me. I hope you notice that no one will love you the way i did. Whether it's showing you,saying it,feeling it. I loved you, type of love that's hard to find now a days. Maybe we’ll come back to one another but who knows. No matter how many times I wake up at 3 am having a panic attack because I feel so sad and i blame myself for it, I will be ok. No matter how many times I apologize to my loved ones for hurting them because I’m hurting, I will make up for it because i will be better. No matter how many times I have to see you in the hallways and hurt, one day it won’t hurt because I will be ok. You fucked me up but only temporarily.

-At the bottom again pt5