A few minutes ago, I briefly contemplated posting a thought I had the other day. I wrote it down and wanted someone, anyone even to read it. I showed it to no one because I figured it was something important to me as a person which makes me increasingly vulnerable. If I were to confide in someone and they were to share their opinion of it with me, I would welcome it without hesitation. Unfortunately, there is a chance, that is all too likely, that I would regret ever showing them. I can't imagine what the reply I lust after would sound or look like. It's weird though because I can image all the different responses that would make my stomach and lungs wrap around each other making each breath painful. The response that intimidates me the most is one that is indifferent. As Elie Wiesel so mindfully concluded, "the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.". Both love and hate are a way of caring, indifference means carelessness. That is what scares me. Me divulging my unspoken fears and thoughts into someone and getting a response that is not positive nor negative but insouciant. Something I feel so passionately about could be regarded so apathetically by other people and that frightens me.

I realize now how idiotic I sound... if I want to finally show someone something so intimate why would I post it on the internet? The internet is so artificial, everyone has become desensitized to things they hear and read on the internet. I can post this and barely anyone will read it. Anyway, if someone does I won't see them get bored and scroll on after reading just one sentence. Eventually, it will get lost in the internet and no one will read it again. Even posting this stupid rant about something extremely vague to whomever reading this scares me! I will disregard my irrational, tiny worries about all the grammatical errors that are unintentionally here that make me sound uneducated or the looming fact that no one cares about this post. At this point I don't care whether or not this post mattered to anyone because now I need to post this to get over my stupid little insecurities.