Did you ever felt like standing between two walls?Every time you tried to go forward you would end up bouncing between two sides.I feel like that's how everything in life is.No matter how much you try to keep your path straight there would always be something that won't allow you.Worse student than you gets the same grade by cheating,person with lower qualifications is in advantage because his or her dad knows the director,..The hardest thing for me while growing up was to come with terms that rules don't apply same for everyone.At some point it'll make you angry.You'll try to climb over or find a really big hammer and hit those bricks until they are nothing but the dust.You'll justify yourself by saying that you're surviving,just like everyone else out there.That you have to be this way if you want to become someone.But,if you just rewind the track a little bit backwards,at the exactly same moment you've found yourself standing in front of that wall,deciding what steps you should take next,you need to realize that it's not influence or highly paid jobs what we want,they're just tools.What every human want is to be appreciated by others.Somebody likes to work in a bar or to be a doorman and what's so wrong with that?Why does he or she have to feel small?Why do we have to spend our life chasing something big that at the end won't even make us happy.If we just learn to accept that not everybody have to follow some ideal dream life set by a society and to say a few nice things to others everything would be so much easier.
I don't want to do it.I don't want to scam others,I don't want to take somebody's else well earned place,I don't want to allow my feelings to control me,to feel envy or greed,I don't want to buy 261,000 $ worth Chanel bag while there's someone who dies in the meantime,waiting for that amount of money for operation.I want to have a real life.The world already have enough of dirt and I refuse to add some more.People think that they've figured it all out.That they know it all.Even if I die with 'nothing' that's still fine.I'm not afraid.After all we come to this life fully naked and that's how we should go.

-Tamara-