I like being in love but at the same time, I hate it.

I'm a strong woman. I'm an independent woman. Always have been. And through my experiences, I have become really great at being alone, focused on me and my success. Of course, I always wanted someone to share my path with, but I keep forgetting how insecure and vulnerable I feel when I give my heart entirely to someone.

I like being in love. I smile when I'm alone and remember how lucky I am for having someone that likes to talk to me, supports me, and enjoys spending time with me. It's a great feeling to know you have someone you can count on, no matter what. I like being in love, mostly because it's when I feel even more fulfilled and whole. Like if there was a piece missing and I found it. Like I'm a cake and he is the frosting: I'm great on my own, but with him, I'm better.

The sad part of all this is that, in the beginning, you are not really sure about him. Everything is new. Everything is a sign of something: he is not replying, maybe he is not into me anymore; he didn't fight enough when I pushed him away, maybe he doesn't care. We think too much. We overthink every little detail, searching for something that tells us " I told you he is no good! You are better without him" because we have been alone for a long time and we can't believe it finally happened. We have to fight these kinds of thoughts.

Even though you can fight those thoughts, in the beginning, and give yourself permission to trust this man and give him your heart, those thoughts come back later. Because now he has your heart, he has everything you have, he is one of the main things that matter to you now. And you are afraid he might break your heart. Maybe because it has happened in the past and you know how much it hurts. Maybe because if he leaves now or stops liking you, he will go away with a piece of you. This is the worst part of being in love, especially in you're not in an official relationship.

You look yourself in the mirror and now you don't see a strong independent woman, as before, Now you see a vulnerable woman, whose emotions and mood depend, in part, on another person and the attention she pays to you. And it sucks.