A while back I was at a rodeo with my mom when I told her offhand that I just want a man that will open the door for me. In my head, this was a really simple thing to ask for out of a relationship. I am not really sure what I was expecting her response to be, but it definitely wasn't "you can't be a strong, independent woman and also expect a man to open the door for you. You can do that yourself." While part of me screamed "YES FEMINISM" the other, stronger side said; "why the heck not??".

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I let the comment go and didn't really think much about it until recently. It isn't about whether or not I can open the door by myself, because I can! It's that I want to find a man who loves and respects me enough to want to open the door for me.

I know, it sounds silly and insignificant to most people. But I recently was in a relationship with someone who opened his truck door for me, who opened the door for me when we went out, and would pull out my chair for me when we went to sit down. It made me feel special, he never did it in a way that made me feel like he thought I was incapable of taking care of myself. He did it because I was important to him and he wanted to show it.

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It threw me for a loop when my mom said that to me, because my father (her husband) has always told me to expect nothing less from the men I date. In fact, when I was younger and reaching the age of dating my father took me on a date to show me how I should be treated. To set the standard. I have never forgotten the lessons he taught me and I never will.

Because I am independent, I don't need to settle for less than what I expect. And if all I expect is for a man to open the door for me, I don't think my standards are that high.

So, I ask you. Can we not be both?