I remember how when you got sad I would talk about cars.
your dad hated Coldplay, you always messed with him and put it on.
You always made fun of me and how I could down 5 tacos.
And that stupid cowboy hat in the middle of the living room to country music.
You put on Minecraft when you got sad cause you didn't have to think.
You always picked up stupid shirts from the thrift store.
You loved those sandwiches I made you, I tried to make the most of the times that I saw you.
Reading books was a travesty, except the one you read 100 pages off because I said it was my favorite.
I always had to put more hot chocolate mix into your cup because you liked it on the sweeter side.
The green drink you would choose over the yellow one any day.
You liked to tickle and make fun of me,
it was so hurtful that sometimes id swear we were enemies
You always let me have the I love you mores on days where I was sad
You don't like being too hot and cuddling under the blanket was like a death wish.
You liked to hold my belly and always said my face was soft.
The bump in my nose you said was cute that I hated.
And the book that your dad got me of trucks that I've spent hours reading.
The pact we made to go to Oregon when we graduate?
And the promise that you would never get me a big ring because I thought they were so ugly.

There is so much of you but it seems like it is so little.
I hope your house feels empty without me
and your bed has a missing hole.
I hope the gifts and the blanket I made you lay around your room as a constant reminder of what you lost.
I hope your mom misses me and how I'd always help with cooking.
How id bring her yarn and we'd talk about cottages in the far lands.
I hope your grandpa misses my hugs and remembers the scarf I knit.
I hope your dad misses my voice in the car
And how much stupid stuff I'd say.
I hope he misses my laughter when he said outrageous stuff.
I hope you miss me.
And I know your brother misses me because he tells me.

Cause I am really starting to hate you.