Yesterday I wrote an article about how I wasn't myself anymore.
But just changing your life isn't simple and it don't happen just by saying it.
Even if I already have an idea and I already know who I wanna be. It's hard to change from where I am to where I wanna be.
I think writing some precise goals and tracking everything days by days should help me to motive myself to get out of this trap.

So let's go, here are my goals. Where I am now, why I want to achieve them, and how.
I hope it will inspire others to do the same and finally be them thelves.

Feel myself in my home-body

It's been now an entire year that I don't feel in my own body anymore. My mind and my shape are two separate things, and when I see myself in the mirror it's not me anymore. I loose an important part of my personality: my image.
I'm really sad actually about that because when I meet soemone I feel like they don't really meet my truly self, they just see a form that I tried so hard to burn.

I really want to change this for several things: First because not being in phase with my image create social anxiety for me, wich never happened before. I stop seeing my friend, going out because I don't want people see something I'm not.*
Also, I want to pe proud of myself, and certainly be myself and express my personality in ervery aspect of my life. I don't want to seperate my mind and body anymore.

To achieve this goal, sport is the key. I actually love to walk, do abs workout, some jump rope session. I need to push myself to active my body. And feel proud about it.
I won't focus on the esthetic side of it because I know I'm not healthy enough (mentally) to do it. It should only be about being confident and proud of doing sport and feeling great about it.

The goals is to workout every day, some day with abs/thight workout, other just a long walk... Everyday of the week should be a celebration day for my home-body.

ballerina, ballet, and dance image ballerina and ballet image

Learn and love it

It's been a hard time for school and learn in every aspect. My year is roughly finish in three days. But I don't wan't to stop there, I have two others exam in June, wich I need to be prepared. And I want to finish all my lessons even if it don't really count anymore.

I dedicate my year for healing, wich is important too. I'm not really proud of my school results but it's too late to change them. So now I want to do it for myself and note just for a stupid paper.

Then the goal is to learn something everyday. Study a little, read, play piano or anything else. Just continue to use the capacities of my brain. And accept that I'm hight-fonctionnal, transform it in an advantage. I can learn everything fast ! Use this power girl !

indie, vintage, and newspaper image girl, hair, and sun image

Feel well, eat well

In 2019 I suffered of an restrictive eating disorder. I totally recovered of it, wich is a chance I know and I glad because I don't have any complication. But the during all the last year I had some eating compulsion, wich is absolutly normal after that. But I now can move after that, everything is about how I feel. I eat when I'm sad of myself and how I act. And when I do, I feel more sad after all.

I'm now capable of eating normal amount and everything, so girl you just need to trust yourself. You can leave this disorder and be happy. You're capable of everything and this is not helping you and you know it.
I want to do it, because it's time to start loving myself and stop punishing my body. I have the right to be happy ! And I want to be happy ! So just enjoy food, and move on. You're alive, that's cool !

Then my goal is to it two real dish. And stop doing this compulsion, I know I can do it, it's time to move on. I won't put me on a special 'diet' because this isn't good, nobody should go on a drastic diet and I learn of my mistakes. I know my body is an intelligent machine, and he will heal himself, find the right weight and balance to be healthy.

backpack, bag, and boho image amazing, beautiful, and beauty image

Stop being the procrastination's queen

As an hight-fonctionnal person, I'm a big procrastinator. Wich is really paradoxal, as I can do everything quick. But the real problem is that I'm scared of boredom.
I'm so scare of it, that I procrastine for months, to be sure I won't be bored to this days.

But boredom isn't always bad, and procrastination isn't the solution. I could use this time to revolutionize the world -ok not really, but I could learn to draw, sing, play an instrument, discover another language. Instead I just spend all my time in my days for weeks.
I want to stop it because it don't make me happy at all, I want to developp new capacities, enjoy all the aspect of life.

The goals is simple, stop procrastination in every aspect of my life. When I think of it, just don't and go do something else. This doesn't mean I will never rest, that's diifferent. I'll just don't do nothing to avoid reality.

flower, sun, and tumblr image Image by Private User

Stop being my own ennemie

Isn't it sad that's you're often your worst nightmare.
Without even realiasing it, your thought are frequently bad when you talk of yourself.
'I din't do enought', 'I wasn't perfect', 'It won't be good'.

Just stop, I wann't to stop this processus because when you tell something to your brain, he will do everything to agree with it.
I want to be proud of myself, push me to the better but hands to hands, not by being mean. I wanna be the confident type of person, some who rise their soul around them.

The goal is simply to stop this thoughs every time I hear them. And turn them in a good way, a positive vision. Be kind with myself.

aesthetic, indie, and beautiful image beauty, fashion, and girl image

Listen to thing that raise you up

I'm my most inspiration, I know that weird to say it, but my mind is really confident sometimes. I wan't to be different.
But sometimes it's cool to be inspired by others, to use songs, pictures or others media to boost your confidence and push you to the next level.

I'm a directioner, their song make me feel really good and I should never stop listen them to motive myself everyday when I'm feeling low.
That's the goal I wanna put in my list: use things of my environnemment to motive myself and never forget why I do that.

iconic, whale, and helene pambrun image one direction, concert, and liam payne image

Listen to my inner self

As I was trying to describe it in my previous article, I shut my inner self for a long time. Stopping acting like I wanted. Just destroying myself to please everyone, until I was too broken to even exist.
My inner self knew a hard time last year, but he healed and is now stronger than never. And I should listen to him, because he know what he want and what we should do. I can trust him.

My biggest goal, the goal of a life for me is to just: be yourself. That's what I want know. I learned that being yourself is the hardest but the greatest thing you could do. Now, it's all I wanna do.

I can know advise myself: listen to your little voice. Because he know.

couple, shadow, and love image girl, water, and sea image