Language is performative, meaning that talking is acting. Just like when someone says “I now pronounce you husband and wife”, two people become legally bound to each other, I believe that talking to yourself in a healing way can change your mindset and the way you look at yourself.

I had heard about this technique so many times but could not understand how it all would work on me. I thought that the hatred I felt towards myself could not be altered by simple words that I did not even believe in. Well, as it turns out, I was wrong.

Talking to myself in a kind and healing way with simple words that I would tell myself looking in the mirror completely changed the image that it reflected to me. At first, you feel silly and usually do not believe a word you are telling your reflection. Yet, going through this lengthy process, you notice alterations in how you see yourself, in how you treat yourself; you start healing.
It was really difficult for me too and in the beginning, I felt like a fool. So, to anyone who is willing to take these steps, here are some of the phrases that I tell myself in the mirror, usually in the morning right after waking up, or before bedtime when I had a rough day.

- You are beautiful no matter what your body looks like. Remember that the simple fact that you are breathing and existing right now is a miracle of life. Your body has kept you alive through so much. Love it and respect it for everything that it brings you on a daily basis.
- You are worthy of love. You are so kind and loyal to others, why would you behave any different towards yourself? Give yourself the same love that you so freely give to others because you deserve it.
- Taking care of yourself is not selfish or useless. You work so hard everyday to achieve your goals and ambitions, taking a break is essential if you want to keep going. Stop blaming yourself when you feel like you need to slow down the pace.
- Eat that damn pizza if you want it because eating is basic self-care! Starving will not help you feel better in any way. You need fuel to function. Without food, there is no hanging out with your friends, no travelling, no achieving your goals, no living. All you would be doing is stressing out about calories and letting the good times pass you by.

- You are allowed to fail. This does not mean that you are useless, talentless, or worthless. It just means that you are learning, growing to be your best self. By failing and getting back up again, you are getting stronger and wiser. They are minor setbacks on your path: recognise them, accept them and leave them behind you.
- You are wonderful, and the only opinion that matters is yours. You do not have to please everyone, it was never your job to take responsibility for how they feel or react to you. Take car of yourself first because no one else will. You are your first priority.

These are just of few examples to get you started. It’s important to repeat them regularly to feel the changes, but always remember that you are allowed to feel bad on certain days. Your feelings will always be valid, but do not let them swallow you whole. Accept them and work through them.
If no one told you this today, you are a queen and I am so proud of you for being this brave on your journey