This text/article will probably be my last one here. And just like all my other texts, this one is directed only to one person, the person who I love. Her name is Judith and she's the best. I'm also writing this to hopefully encourage those of you that can relate. Know that this text is very emotional and might have trigger warnings for some of you. It is meant for the people who've found love, and lost it. Someway or another. But they still choose to fight for that love, no matter what.

*Across The Snow - Atmosphere*

Trusting in love... Not an easy thing to do, mostly even so when you go all-out to demonstrate how much you love someone -- when you love them so much that they start wondering if it's love or obsession, or when people outside the relationship think you're crazy. But it's even worse when it's the person who you love that is thinking that way. And this only happens because we live in a mad, and cruel world. Where people use, abuse, and mistreat others like objects. People get damaged, thrashed inside and out. Sometimes there is so much pain that people don't know who they are anymore. And of course, they try to avoid getting hurt like that again, therefore "giving up" or "quitting" love has become quite a standard thing to do. You've found a problem in your relationship? People will just tell you to give up. Many people will defy you, many will ask you "Why? Why go such lengths? Why do you care so much?". And it's not just people you know, I mean, even in most movies or books, something happens and boo-hoo it's time to quit everything and find someone else. Which is something that I cannot stand! If you've found real love, and they love you back then NEVER give up! Granted, when I say you shouldn't give up on real love I'm not including verbal, physical or emotional abuse. Because, honestly, if any of those three things happen then I'm sorry to say but the other person will never change and will always abuse you. So, if that is the case then yes. Give up. However, even though I'm vouching for others to not give up. I sort of gave up once. It wasn't exactly "giving up" but it was me being okay with us going our separate ways. Which was a horrible horrible horrible choice. Because being without her made me feel so very much alone. Not that I didn't know what being lonely was. I knew. But, that type of loneliness after losing her? No, I had never felt that.

I kept being told that people could see the sadness inside my eyes. And some of them even claimed that I was dead inside. Now, I'm not going to tell you that love is full of rainbows and sunshines. No, love is weird, things might be going perfectly and life finds a way to turn it upside down. And when you're the reason for that problem, or when you feel guilty. Then let me tell you, that type of guilt will devour your soul. And this is also when a lot of people give up, but for those of you who are like me, those of you that choose to keep going even when everything seems lost and hopeless. My advice to you is keep going -- Do no falter. Do not waver. Keep fighting. If you messed up then fix it, show to your partner that you are sorry, or if you didn't mess up now but messed up in the past and the wound is still open then show to your partner that you truly love them. No matter how much they push you away. Show them that -- that is true love. Giving them all your love and not expecting any love back. Standing alone on a cliff shouting your heart out. Always leaving the door of your house open for your partner. Show them that -- no matter what happens you're here to welcome them. It might be rough, but, fight. But know why you fight! You're not fighting to show that you can do it, that you'll be strong for them. No. You're fighting because you cannot face waking up one day, and realising that the other person is gone. Really gone. As in, dead. So fight. Fight until you can't fight anymore. Until you're totally powerless. Because, if it gets to that, then at least you'll know you did everything you could. It's better to lose because you were weak instead of losing knowing you could've done more. Always be kind even if they act in a really cold way towards you, always give them love. Your love. True love. But, I do believe that love is not solely a human thing. I have these two cats, male and female, I got them both when they were babies. I only got the female cat three years after the male cat. And she was always mean to him, even when she was a baby, she would always attack him and scare him, even though he's always been bigger than her. But he always looked out for her. Sometimes she'd escape and you could see he was worried, he kept acting crazy and looking for her. Waiting for her to return. And, every time she'd return, she'd continue being mean to him. He would just be doing his thing, far away from her and she'd would walk up to him and just hit him. And yet, day after day he just kept being nice to her, looking out for her and even protecting her from dogs or cats. And when I say protect I mean, he would totally destroy whatever stood in his way. As if he was not a cat but more like a wolf, or even a lion. There was nothing that scared him, not even a human. Anyway, years went by and, one day, she wasn't mean to him anymore. He would be minding his own business and she would just go up to him and fill him up with many many kisses. I believe that at some point she understood he loved her. And that he only had good intentions for her, so she changed her behaviour towards him. Very heartwarming to witness this type of thing.
But, back to talking about me and my baby boo. Our story has been anything but short. We've had many up's and down's. But I've found real love, it's you.
You're my true and only love. And I'm sorry for all the times it went wrong. But I will never give up on you, because I've decided long ago to trust in love. Doesn't matter what happens in a few years from now, or what happened in the past. If you allow me, and you want me to be close to you. I will always be there. Unwavering and unconditional love. It's all yours for the taking. Sure, life will throw plenty of obstacles in our way. But Judith, if you choose to fight, then we will never lose. I've done so much for you, look at what I've turned into. Yeah, I got some issues to deal with. And sure, I understand that this type of love can be too much to handle sometimes. But...
The truth is, love can destroy you, as much as it can heal you. And well, like I mentioned before that's why most people give up. But honestly? I'd rather give it my all to you. Even if someday you don't care about me anymore. Because I have faith in us. I'm not big on religion, but I have faith that whatever problem we encounter, we'll find a way to resolve it. Even if you say something can't be fixed or resolved. I've chosen to put myself here, with my arms wide open for you. I'll stay. Because, I only belong to you. I am totally, completely and utterly yours, Judith. So please, trust in love too.

VR, J.(2021). Trust in Love. Vol. 1. Heartfelt Texts