I think that besides those truly sad and hurtful things in life like death of loved ones and diseases, a heart breakup comes right after. I have no doubt that it's one of the most painful things we can experience in life, specially when we're not the one that initiated the rupture and when we still love the other person dearly.

I've had a few breakups, not too many, and which one of them hurt, but one in particular was literally the most painful thing I've already had to deal with in my life (and today I feel quite lucky that a breakup was the worst thing that has ever happened to me until now).

It happened exactly 3 years ago and I literally cried everyday for like 5 months. Literally everyday, I'm not exaggerating. And it took me about 7 months to start feeling good again. It was HARD, believe me. So, I'd like to share my experience and the things that made me feel more like a human during these months, and I hope it can be useful if you're going through a painful breakup as well.

1. I'm going to start with the most important (and probably the hardest) one: NO CONTACT. Seriously. If you're hurting and you really want to help yourself getting over someone and eventually moving on, it's crucial that you STOP contacting them. You've probably already heard someone saying "To heal a wound you need to stop touching it". You really need to stop yourself from creating excuses to initiate conversations with your ex. There's absolutely no way you can be friends with your ex just right after breaking up, it will just hurt you even more. I used to think like that: am I ready to see them with someone new without having my heart shattered all over again and just be alright with that? If no, then I'm not ready to be their friend. If you're not ready to see them with someone else and the thought of that still hurts you, that's when you know you're not ready to be their friend. Stay away. Delete their contact or block them if you think it's necessary, don't be afraid to seem childish or anything like that. You should protect and preserve your peace and mental health. I personally have absolutely nothing against blocking people in this kind of situation.

2. I've let myself feel everything. I didn't supress any emotion. I just let it all out. Even though I felt it all very intensely, I knew it that it was normal to feel sad and to cry about it. I knew that sad times are just as normal as happy times.

3. I always kept in mind "this too shall pass" (might get it tattooed someday) and "one day at a time". I always tried to rationalize it and think that I wouldn't feel bad and cry forever about it, I knew that it had an expiration date and that, for example, in 5 years it would mean nothing to me anymore. I tried to focus that one day it would pass FOR SURE, but meanwhile, while it was still hurting, I used to keep repeating to myself in every hard day: "one day at a time", "one hour at a time" or even "one minute at a time".

4. Everyday I used to read lots of motivational quotes or quotes that would reassure me that it was all going to pass and that I'd be okay (I used to follow, and still follow, some Instagram accounts like @nedratawwab, @lizlistens, @myselflovesupply, @laurajaneillustrations, @thisfeelsnice, @jessrachelsharp). Also, thinking that lots of other people were going through the same thing that I was used to help me a little as well, so I joined Reddit and used to take a look everyday at the posts on the subreddits "ExNoContact" and "Breakups". It might sounds selfish but sometimes it felt comforting to see how I could relate to so many other people.

5. Stop stalking them on social media. It was one of the hardest to follow for me and it took me a while to stop stalking them on Instagram, Facebook, Spotify etc for good. But you really need to, it's one of the things that will help you the most to move on. Printing a calendar I found online and marking an X for each day I stayed away from their social media helped me to stay committed to it.

  • English is not my first language, but I tried to make as little mistakes as possible :)