Hello!! Hope you enjoy!
Lottie around mid-2021 (May and June) while on tour sat down and decided to write some lyrics pouring out her thought and feelings on paper. She was slightly conflicted while touring, she was in a relationship with Yoongi for about 9 months at the start of the tour, and not seeing him in person every day was starting to affect her focus a bit. But she felt guilty for feeling this way because she was on a world tour with her 3 best friends and seeing all her lovelies in person.

Plus performing a concert is one of the best feelings as a music artist. This was her first tour and she and harmony were very very lucky to go on a world tour for their first real tour. So she was having a lot of conflict going on in her mind. She knew that as an Artist that the most important thing is your feelings and pouring it out into your art form is needed. So she did just that, she sat down one late night in her hotel room and just started writing.

She wrote out her frustrations of discovering her feelings in the mists of a pandemic, she wrote about the confliction on the choice of pursuing Yoongi or her passions, she wrote about the 9 months up to that point, she wrote about this tour and missing Yoongi and, she just simply wrote about Yoongi. She didn't have any plans to ever share it and frankly she didn't want to.

Slowly after she wrote out everything, she looked over the multidude of scribbles, random verses & lines, key words, and memories she had written out on the hotel pads of paper. She then took out her laptop and equipment she ended up bringing to play around with and practicing producing on. She saw an opportunity to "produce" a song that she had a passion for. Like I said she was not going to release it. She was just doing all this as a way of therapy on the road, to strengthen her skills as a musical artist, and to distract herself when she was missing Yoongi and couldn't call or a simple call wasnโ€™t enough.

Throughout the rest of the tour she would work on it when she was alone or just anytime those thoughts crept into her mind. Because of how badly she was missing him by the end of the tour, she ended up creating two separate versions with the full music backtracks created, lyrics written for both versions, and a guide for her vocals.

She even ended up continuing this little "project" to the point that, after a month of being back (end of July) and the pain of missing Yoongi long gone by then, she finished both versions completely. They were fully produced tracks that would never see the light of a release. They just sat on her Harddrive taking up space. The only other people that knew about these tracks were the other harmony members and they didnโ€™t find out until late 2021. When Lottie told them after Yoongi and Lottie's 1 year & 3 month anniversary (So November).