So,

It has been almost two years since I wrote the first article in this series. I wanted this to be an outlet for myself as I am horrible at expressing myself and I tend to keep everything inside.

Since that last post, I would say things have improved. He and I have become closer and are still holding on strong.

Since these years have gone by, so have our ages. He is now a freshman in college and I am a senior in high-school.

It has only been a full day now that he is moved into his dorm, but I am already feeling the effects on my mental state. With the stress of being a senior in a corona-virus world, and he a college freshman, we are both lost.

I chose to do online school as a way to protect myself and my family. And he has only two in person classes, leaving him with protection as well.

I think with the stress of the past four months and now these new tasks, I feel like I will become distant from him. Which is most likely normal, but it's different when you are already eight hours away.

Since we met at such a young age, I always think that mindset of us still being young will always be around. My mind currently is trying to make me think that he doesn't need me anymore because he is grown and an adult. Not in a motherly type of way, but just a close relationship type. Being in this long distance means we are not able to just go on dates or hang out at night together, or anything that most couples do.

I guess my reasoning would be the distance and that I can't give him those things. I feel like I have run out of ways to show affection and that the ways I do are either childish or dumb. I know he loves anything we get to do, but I just really want to be able to provide him with the love and support he needs.

And no, college shouldn't change how we feel about each other, i just think it will change how we both view things. Like I said before, we are both adults now and the things we did years ago just aren't going to be the same for much longer.

I wanted to write this for myself and for any other person that comes across this. I hope to begin writing these like I intended long ago, and I'm sorry this has to be a sad one.

-K