Hey you,

I am glad, that you found your way to this article, so that we can exchange our thoughts. On the other hand, finding this article means you are struggling with the same issues.

Social distance seemed to be a good thing in the first weeks. Home office, online school and everything else closed. You were able to do stuff you haven’t had time before.

But isn’t it weird, that all of a sudden nothing seemed as productive and fulfilling as expected. You didn’t kept the routines you thought, your hobby hasn’t been pushed more than expected, reading, drawing, singing, dancing, baking, or more were just a fantasy in your mind of the perfect life you always dreamt of. Over time you just feel exhausted, tiered from doing nothing. You just find yourself on the couch/bed scrolling through social media, kinda sad but not to much, eating more, doing some exercises at home but gaining weight, let time pass without actually doing something, hesitating with your own thoughts to do something, but what? Drowning in this vicious circle. Connecting less and less to people, because you don’t see them every day anymore.

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With some people you are not that close, that you are FaceTiming or calling/texting them, some of them are just part of your regular life who you meet at the library, coffee shop, at work or on the train but never as a close friend which you would call to hang out. But they ARE important, too, in your life! You were happy to see them in the normal surrounding. But social distance makes you stay at home.

If you tell someone that your mental health has been bad lately because of social distance, people are telling you „you should be happy in your situation, there are people losing their job, are sick losing family, even dying!“ these answers let you feel like you feeling sad is a joke, right? Like your thoughts are just dumb and selfish, unnecessary.

I want you to know: You live your life on your own.

No one will clean your life, so that the next morning everything has been as in your dreams.
You have to do it by yourself. And to make things clear: quarantine isn’t the real reason why you find yourself in this current situation, it only leads you into this black little hole easlier than without it.

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Yes, there are bad things in this world. But it should not affect you this hard, that you put yourself behind. Mental health is so much more important than a lot of people know. This doesn’t mean to skip hygiene rules, of course, they are more important than ever. The health of others and your own health should always be in focus. I want to clarify, that this new situation, which has never been here before, put people in a new position in life. People want to connect, people need routines, and these days people need to express themselves. These things in the 21. century are able to achieve while practicing social distance!

Being alone doesn’t mean your are lonely!

I have been through that too. I found myself in the situation that I was not even sure why I should do anything - for what? Why doing something if, in the end, every day ends the same. Online school/uni isn’t working like it should, you’re not able to learn effectively without a library, teachers are overstrained, home office makes you work more than usual, because you don’t have the long way home anymore. You cannot distinguish between work/study area and live/chill out area in your own home. You are annoyed by being at home all day but you don’t leave the house in your free time as well.

Remember - no one can change your mindset besides yourself. YOU have to start to clean this black hole and let some fresh air und sunlight into it.

I want you to focus on why you were excited to have more free time. Find yourself a safe spot and clean up your thoughts. What exactly makes you sad. What do you wish to be different. What did your „past-you“ thought you would do with these new opportunity of free time. Just give yourself a push and go outside to take some fresh air, take the bike or take a walk und just try to find out which facts and situations make you sad. Then don’t drown in sorrow! Reflect these points out of a positive view. Instead of being sad about what you couldn’t have or do, think about what you could have or do.

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You feel tired all day, push you to do some sport, dance, walk, bike, skate, what ever. Just. Do. It.
You want to paint, but there is a lack of motivation? Take your supplies and go into the woods, a park, a garden, on your balcony and just draw. Find some inspiration online.

Speaking of which, do yourself a cleanse on social media. Follow people that inspire you, and not those, which drain you even more down. Don’t scroll all the day through pages and pictures of how your life could be and yearn about a life that you don’t have. Use these pages like WHI, Pinterest or YouTube to inspire you and try things out. By only imagening how to have this life like in these pictures and videos, you will not get a better mindset nor you successfully achieve it.

Clarify now, what your dreams are. What was your intention to change or try out, what do you want to intensify.

To keep on track, make each day a list of what you want to achieve that day, write down things like making your bed, taking a walk, working on a certain exercise or chapter. Don’t think „I haven’t achieved what I thought I would this day“, better is „I have achieved number 1, 2, .....“ In this way your are not confronted about what hasn’t happened, but what did happened.

Take time to try new recipes to bake or cook.

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Read the books you always want to. Just. Do. It.

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Go on your favourite online clothing store and put some cute outfits together, that you saw on WHI or Pinterest.

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Inform yourself about new topics, a new lifestyle you want to live, educate yourself!

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Renovate a room, your balcony/garden. Make yourself a space in which your mind can be in peace. Get some plants, take care of them. Individualise your space to YOUR space. I bet will you have more energy .

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Try new habits.

Take care of your body. Do your nails, refresh your hair, do masks, drink your favourite drink, enjoy the sunlight, the water and the air on your skin.

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Take friends on a small call. Find new interests together, if possible.

Learn a new language.

Explore the nature in your neighbourhood.

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Do what every your heart wanted to do in the past. But do it for YOU! Now is the chance. No one will change that for you.

Love yourself as how you are. Mistakes are human, and always have in mind, you might be on your own, but you are not lonely! Take a step forward, and just do it.

I promise, as I started to tidy up my mind, it took me a whole night on the balcony in a blanket all by myself, because I had nothing to do, no motivation and was just sad without a direct reason.

By saying you only life ones, I don’t mean a cheesy quote. Have in mind, that you have the possibility to do these things. Later on opportunities might be gone. Don’t live a life by just complaining. It is just YOUR step to take.

By living the life you fully enjoy, you find peace with yourself. It’s not selfish in a bad way to be selfish about your joy in life. Moments create your life.

I found my way, I hope I could help you find yours.

Love,

Daisy