Your brain. Your heart. All intertwined in one beautiful mess. The most exciting, heartbreaking, MESS. I hate myself sometimes, for not being able to just LIKE someone, but then letting my mind travel a one thousand light years ahead to already being married and having this persons children.

I see him almost everyday at work. I smell him when he walks in, and love when he has to bend down closer to hear what I am saying to him in the midst of the chaos that ensues around us.

But then... reality hits. I will NEVER be with this man in the way I imagined. I don't know him, but I know enough to know that he is very much, not for me.

Part of me hates myself for being this weak.
For letting myself travel down so far in my head. He is clueless. Completely clueless. At least I hope he is. And I hope that he never knows how I feel. Or at least what I think I feel. I would be mortified.

Completely, brain shattering. I cannot say it shatters my heart, because I know that wouldn't be a fair statement. But it crushes me in a different way. In a way where I want to cry on my way home. In a way that makes me dream about him that night. In a way that throws my mind into a sea of a million scenarios and pretend.

Then the morning comes, and I have to remind myself that I can do this. And that this will be okay. I have to remind myself that the man God has for me, I haven't met yet. Or I've met them it just hasn't been the right time. I have to remember I am promised a future perfectly made my the Creator of the universe. And He loves me, and cares about my life. And wants me to be happy.

Life throws you situations where you will be in like.
You will feel like it's love though. You'll want it to be love. You'll want it to happen.

Because we love to put these guys on thrones in our minds. They have no faults, are gentlemen, and want to be with us too. Lol.

And there isn't anything wrong with that. But we end up hurting our own feelings. And being mad at US.

So, girl.
Hear me out.

Be kind to you. Love you. Comfort you. Cry for you. Move on for you.

Do not stay heartbroken over being in like with a boy.