I started writing this in the shower in my head at 10:45 PM and now it’s 1:03 AM.

No need to read the last two parts of this series because it’s utter nonsense about nothing and everything anyways but I do hope you like it.

How do you introduce yourself? We all have to at some points in our lives. I’ve had to do so 4 times last year, at the beginning of every quarter, to a group of people that you’ve gotten to know more throughout the year, and introducing became more redundant with each time. But what do you say? I’ve noticed that time and time again, people define themselves by… the basics. What the first few sentences you learn at French class essentially. “Hi, my name is [], I am [] years old, I am from [] city, I have [] siblings”. As if your geological location and how many years ago your mum pushed you out of her vagina say anything about your personality (I mean yes your age defines if you’re a kindergartener or a freshman at college, but still).

The siblings one may be the most redundant of those basics in my opinion. I guess it also depends on the setting. If you are introducing yourself to people who most likely will never see your brothers and sisters, why do you say it?

I’d like to break away from that vicious circle where you’ll always end up having the same things at your introduction. I think your introduction should be about what you care about instead of what you are. What are you passionate about?

Then again, I wouldn’t tell everyone about you simping and donating $$$ to Pokimane on Twitch or your senpai complex with Hatsune Miku, but live your life. If that is who you are, embrace it :)

The second time during those introductions, my mentor-person for that period asked us, amidst the yet again most basic info, to share something that was “weird” about us. Now THAT was memorable. Too memorable. For a whole year I knew a guy in my course solely because, at that introduction, he told us that he eats kiwis whole. He doesn’t peel the hairy brown outside. He eats them just. Like. That.

My weird thing was that one time I fainted during a high school class at a picture of an embryo. I somehow always use that moment as my “look what happened to me!!” never have I ever moments.

I personally like my introductions completely riddled with random facts that just about define me as how many siblings I have. I usually throw in there that love the English language and love being creative. It’s also kind of a struggle when you have physically type out a description of yourself. You are confronted with the simple but gnawing question: “Who are you?” That’s usually around the time when I really struggle with figuring out my personality.

You often hear people saying something like “she has no personality” when talking about someone who in their opinion has no original thought or is vain. But what does that mean? What is my personality? Is it the outcome of the Myers-Briggs test that tells me that I’m an INFP, the same personality that uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender supposedly has??

I hate this question so much. Because to be honest, I don’t know if I’m all that interesting. I have hobbies that involve me being creative like reading/writing, painting or baking/cooking, but most days I won’t even do those things because I don’t have the time or energy to do them. I usually just end up circling the same few apps, looking at memes or pictures on Instagram or talking to very few people. I listen to a lot of music, watch youtube videos. That’s just about what I DO. But who AM I?

I message or call friends at midnight on their birthdays. I love twirling around in flowy floral dresses. I’m a sucker for little ducklings and bunnies and I’ll likely greet my bf’s bunny excitedly before anyone else in the room. I’m afraid of somersaults and loopings in rollercoasters, probably related (I do not want to go upside down for whatever reason). I love plants more than anything and love basically any cuisine except the Dutch one because I am SICK of plain boiled potatoes! I like being clean but somehow my room is always messy. I am forever intrigued by outer space, fashion and art. I love my freckles and that my hair glows in the sun and I hate my weird ring- and pinky toes. I always get excited in flower shops or beautiful gardens filled with flowers. I mostly listen to pompous arena synthpop and will always look for the next song that makes me dance around like crazy (for now it’s Married in Vegas by The Vamps). Lastly, I am passionate about changing the world by making the world more sustainable for a better future for all living things.

There you go. That’s me. I like this version of introducing myself because it’s a forever changing description of me, instead of the basics on my passport or what you’d be able to retrieve from my Facebook page in the alternate universe where Facebook isn’t run by moms and minion pictures and I’d consider making an account.

The “Who Am I?” question came to mind as today I started and finished Anna and the French Kiss (hiiiiiiiighly recommend, message me if you want to read it online), which is a YA novel about a girl who is forcibly enrolled in a French boarding school and she meets this gorgeous smart funny guy and they explore Paris together…. and you already know what’s gonna happen. I didn’t necessarily know this going into did but I was over the moon when it was just another, less depressing The Fault In Our Stars.

I just like YA novels like that. Girl meets boy, they experience maybe minor troubles and they always get together and there’s a happy ending. I catch myself being easily immersed in books/series to the point where I feel what the main characters are feeling. Which is why I mostly like reading or watching romantic/funny entertainment. It’s happened before that I got so into a series that I felt genuinely anxious or scared of the dark because of a series.

Anyways, the point was that in the book, both the girl and the boy had these immersive personalities. She was into critiquing movies so she went to the movies every week, even the less popular ones. And the boy was really into history and just KNEW so many interesting things. That made me reflect on myself, like what am I doing that’s interesting or share-worthy?

It also depends on how you tell a story. That’s also kind of what these articles are for: me trying to make everyday situations and things that happen to me appear more interesting and share-worthy (and funny! I hope).. I guess that’s kind of sad. Essentially I’m trying to get better at telling stories because I used to be incredibly shy/socially anxious during my teen years. I never had a group of people’s attention for longer than 3 seconds so now I kind of freak out when people look at me, expecting me to say something extraordinary, and I’m at a loss for words. I’m also practicing telling more about my life, even if it’s dull things. People want to know so I should share.

I used to under-share a lot with… everyone really. I thought people didn’t really care for me or what I did with my life. A few days ago I talked to a friend from high school about everything, and one of the topics was my literal mental absence during high school cafeteria convos. I mean, I’d be present, but I wouldn’t say anything. We might as well replace me with a cardboard cut-out! Although people might make out with it me (per my last article).

Not that I was wooing many people back in high school. I only once got this half-assed note in my locker that someone wanted me to be their valentine, while somehow managing to make 3 spelling mistakes I in 3 short sentences. As if!

I like talking about music in these articles because I don’t have anyone who cares as much about music as I do so this next part is about music once again :)

A part of Imagine Dragons’ discography is what I’d consider Sacrifice To Satan music. The singer… screams. All of his pain and built-up anger flows out. Somehow this is always the chorus. When hearing these parts of songs, all I see are the colours red and black. Some examples are Natural, Believer, Whatever It Takes, Radioactive. Demons walks a very fine line but I’ll let that one pass.

I’ve always described that part of Imagine Dragons with that term. It feels like music people would play to get motivation while working out, or when you’re upset about something and you’re crying in bed and you need comfort from music. Not as background music at your bf mum’s 50th birthday, right? The brother in charge of music also played Numb by Linkin Park, which, even though it’s not an Imagine Dragons song, its chorus is still a sacrifice to satan one. The birthday was fun because of a cute dog from an aunt, despite it being unholy tropical weather and I got stung twice by mosquitoes.

I’m not good with hot weather. I once changed at a bus stop because I couldn’t stand my jeans anymore and just HAD to switch to a dress. I couldn’t focus on anything else, I had to get out of my clothes. So I looked around every time to see if any car was coming and was halfway through when a car came but I had gotten that for so screw it.

I watched Work It today, a really cute dance movie with a newer recently famous cast I like. At one point one of the competitors had a guy in it who was dancing with a clearly visible raging boner. That’s how the mismatched group of dancers got through, based on a technicality since they took a long-ass time looking at the guys buldge and then they realized they weren’t wearing belts and that was against the rules!! Nice movie. Really gets you “on your feet” :)

I was at a birthday party a few days ago and we were playing 30 seconds, a game where you have to explain 5 words without using the words. One of the words was Kanye West and the other team didn’t guess it. After every 30 seconds, you always think of how you would explain a word. I whispered “Kim Kardashian’s husband and potential future president” before realizing how fucked America’s politics are right now.

Lastly, a recently had a few guys come into the flower shop to buy roses. All the roses. We had. No joke. There had been a party and a guy was on his way home, under the influence of alcohol, and he crashed his car and didn’t make it. The group of guys that I suppose was his friends were so emotional. They didn’t care about time or money. They only wanted something nice to lay at the place where it happened. Which is lovely, of course. Not a well-thought-out plan because it was 340 roses which are around 250 euros, but still, a statement. So please, don’t drink and drive. Take an uber or make sure you have someone to drive you. It’s not worth it.

Now I also wanted to say that moments like these are the hardest parts of my job. Both physically and mentally. Physically, because I had to make two bouquets out of 340 roses which is A LOT and I do not have large hands so it was an enormous struggle and a lot of thorns scraping my hands. Mentally, because we as a flower shop, we make money off of people being hurt. I hate making orders for mourning works. It’s awful.

I also had to make a brides bouquet last Sunday, which was totally not stressful because a wedding day is kiiiiind of very important and I didn’t want it ruined by my incompetent ass. As a flower shop, we’re there to celebrate the highs and lows of people’s lives. I’m just glad it’s mostly highs.

That’s it! It’s still hot, my lovely silent fan died and it’s now 1 AM. Tomorrow I’ll definitely be reading the next book of Stephanie Perkins and hopefully finish it all in one day too.

Since I’ll be making more of these articles I made a collection:

Here are the last two articles:

CHECK OUT MARRIED IN VEGAS BY THE VAMPS I SWEAR: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn6Z4JBlI3A

~ Sabine (@the_night_skies)