hello everyone , I finally had the motivation again to write. It is something quick but meaningful to me and I think you will see yourself somehow reflected. Have fun reading :

You know that feeling when you go out every night and have so much fun. You go to bed and wake up having already the need to ask everyone what the plan today is . The feeling of constantly needing to go out and do something. „To have fun“. That is what I had , never taking a moment for myself. Because I knew , if I would be alone I would think too much and realize how
I´m actual feeling.It was one cycle for 2 month. After the lockdown I thought I have to enjoy the time I have at my hometown and go out as much as I can. It was the best time, since a long time, that I had , but it was not good for my wealth being. I lost my interest in doing everything I love. Reading, Art, writing, watching the news. I sat down and my concentration and fun lasted for 8 pages in a book. So many books I bought and so little I have read in this time. I guess I am not the only person who feels like that. the only thing i had in my mind was going out , meeting friends. I didn't see my family as often , because I was never really home. „Your personality did not develop“ my father said to me when I told him how I feel. So I just took some break from everyone to just be alone for a bit and think about all the stuff which is going on in my life and in the world. Also somethings I am worried about or afraid of. Which is good , because you will always have negative events to think of , no one ever is in a state where they say „ Oh everything is COMPLETELY fine“ and if so they are lying. I try to get back into the habit of having a balanced relationship with myself. On the one side going out , meeting my friends but also on the other side staying at home , do what i love or actually do nothing. I felt like i was pressuring myself to forget everything around me and to have fun. Trying not to think too much and always being on the run. The quote „ Balance is the key“ may be a bit cringe but it is true.

Check out my account for more
-C x