Hi everyone!

This is going to be a long article, so prepare yourselves :D It's a bunch of really deep questions that I thought I'd answer just for fun, to share some stuff about myself, and to spread the universal joy❤

I was inspired by the following article:

So, here we go :)

What do you miss about being a kid?

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Probably the obliviousness. You don't have to worry about money and uni and where you're going to live and politics. Your parents will take care of that stuff for you, and you don't even notice.

If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself?

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Don't choose study over fun every time. You can chill once in a while, and believe me, the world won't implode.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

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Not really. It would be nice if things were that simple, but judging people based on your first glance at them is dumb. I believe in being friends first, and falling in love with the other person's very soul, not just their face.

What is your relationship with your family?

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In short, it's super complicated. I love my mom and my cousins, but I'm not close with my dad and grandparents. I don't mind though; it is what it is.

Are you spiritual? (Do you believe in God, spirits, the afterlife, etc.)

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I struggle with my faith and I doubt and overthink things constantly, but ultimately I believe in God and souls and the afterlife. It's just so hard for me not to be able to know everything about a thing. But I'm working on it.

What is something you want to do but are afraid to try?

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Many things. I want to write a book and learn to play guitar (and then play, like, in front of people!!😱😱) and be in a relationship and learn to skateboard and do volunteer work someplace foreign. It's really hard to get yourself to do things that are scary for you, but I know from experience that it's worth it.

What makes you happy?

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My friends, memes, music, the sea, snow, animals and Gilmore Girls :D

What makes you sad?

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Giving into my pessimism, like thinking nobody really cares about me, boys think I'm ugly, and the whole world is going downhill. I can really freak myself out sometimes.

What is one of your favorite memories?

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When I was little I took a road trip from Colorado to California with my mom and some friends. It was the best, I want to do it again.

What is a memory you wish you could erase?

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Once I had a really bad fight with my mom and she basically told me that if I didn't do what she told me I could move in with my dad. I know she didn't mean it but I can't get over it and it sucks.

What are you thankful for right now? (more than just food, water, shelter, think deeper)

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I'm thankful for all the great people in my life, and also that it's my final year of high school starting September and after that I can finally go to uni and sleep in the mornings and not have to take P.E. :D

What's your favorite family tradition?

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I love spending Christmas with my baby cousins outside the city (they are respectively 15, 10, and 7 years old at the moment...but they will always be babies to me). We go to church on Christmas Eve, and by the time we get home the tree is all decorated and then we open the presents and after that I get all depressed when I realize there's a whole year before it's Christmas again.

Do you believe in true love?

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Yes. I think it's possible to love someone truly and unselfishly, but I think it's very hard to find the balance in the relationship, because usually one partner gives more than the other, and that can ruin the relationship. So I think it's complicated and rare, but possible.

Do you believe in soul mates?

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I think so. Some people talk about compatability, and how it's just about people being more or less compatable with each other. But then you see these old couples who still love each other so much after being married for so long, and you just think, they were meant for each other. And a soul mate is basically the person you're most compatable with, so there, I just mushed the two theories together.

Have you ever been a hypocrite? Why?

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Yeah. I really hate it when people behave selfishly in a relationship, and I had a friend who only talked about himself all the time, and I felt really neglected and used. So one time I just exploded and told him I was sick of it. And then the roles switched, and I guess I made up for all the time I had felt neglected, and I put my crap I was going through over his crap he was going through, and then he got mad at me, and I felt really guilty about it. I still do, I hope I never make anyone feel like that ever again.

What is something no one knows about you?

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I can't think of anything that absolutely no one knows about me, but very few people know I have depression and anxiety, like I go to a shrink and take meds and all that. I feel really embarrassed about it honestly, even though I know I'm not supposed to. It's just people have so many prejudices against people with depression, and some people really enjoy explaining to you how there's actually nothing wrong with you and everybody feels just the same as you, so you should just suck it up and grow a pair.

Are you afraid of dying?

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Kind of. I mean, I believe in the afterlife, so I guess it's not really what comes after (though that's a part of it), it's more what I leave behind; I want to have a full life and do many things and make a difference in the world, and I'm scared that when I die I won't feel like I've succeeded.

Do you believe in fate or destiny (everything happens for a reason)?

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I guess so. Sometimes I get scared that everything is just a mess of crap, as queen Phoebe would say, but ultimately I think what is meant to be will be. But I also think that you have to put in the work, and struggle, and you can't just wait for things to be handed to you.

If you could change something about your upbringing what would it be?

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I would want to have spent my childhood in one place, one continent, one country, one house, you get it. I wish we hadn't moved around as much as we did.

What is your biggest insecurity?

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My body. Everything about my body. Technically, I'm of average weight, but I think my thighs and arms are too big, and my shoulders are too broad, and my posture sucks, and I don't like my boobs, and my jaw is weird looking, and my ears look elvish...you name it, I hate it, basically😅

What is something that annoys you?

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When people have no consideration for others. It irritates me immensely when people yell outside on the streets at night, and when little prats listen to music out loud on the bus. Like, grrr. Go home.

What is something that turns you on?

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It turns me on when someone is nice to me, honestly.. :D That's one thing I'm thankful for in my personality; looks don't matter that much to me. I'm not saying I don't care at all, but not very much.

How important is money to you?

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Honestly, pretty important. Right now, my family can't afford a house (I mean we live in a small flat, we're not homeless) or to send me to an expensive uni, and there are a lot of things I've had to give up on in my life so far. I want my kids to have it different; I want a proper house with a garden and a car and to send my kids to good schools and get them a dog and pay for horse back riding lessons and all that shit❤

Have you ever been in love?

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Not really. I thought so at the time, but it was more of a crush. I don't think I'm ready for that right now anyway. I want it, but I'm not ready.

What is your biggest embarrassment?

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I literally cannot do a simple presentation in front of even a few people without feeling like I'm about to pass out, turning either tomato red or very pale, and talking way too quietly while my voice shakes and you can barely understand me. It's tragic, and it's so embarrassing because I see how chill other people are when the do it, and it makes me feel like a silly child.

What do you feel the most guilty about?

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The thing I wrote about above, about doing exactly what I hated being done to me, right back at my friend.

If you could change something about yourself what would it be?

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My mental illnesses. If I didn't have those, literally everything in my life would be easier. Okay, no, it wouldn't be easier, it would just feel easier, because I wouldn't be scared of literally everything, and I would be so much more optimistic.

How do you want to be remembered?

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As someone who worked hard and overcame her circumstances, made a difference, was helpful and kind to others and a was good mother.

That's it for today, this took me ages and I'm exhausted :D So I hope you liked the article and maybe got inspired to do one of these yourself!

Farewell,

Hanna❤