I dream about buying a van and renovating it into a home.
However, I also fear this. I fear the lack of security and to be quite frank, I have no idea how to plan to live this way. It sounds idea, it sounds simple at the surface however, it clearly and evidently is not.

I dream of a life off of social media.
This dream becomes easier and easier the more that I work on myself and feel a lesser need outside validation. Why do I care so much about likes? Or other peoples lives? I don't want to be that person, but I can only go a mere few days without social media before I find myself reactivating, lurking a posting. Perhaps this comes from me wanting to be an actor, I love the interaction. Who knows really? - This dream life is more feasible.

I dream of a life where I don't care about materialistic items/minimalism life.
My whole life I have spent money on materialistic items, though I am getting better and only buying things that bring me joy, however I never know when to stop. I shop in excess. I buy more movies and books that I cannot read at such a rapid pace that I am buying and clothes, shoes etc. However, I am getting better with the clothes.

In retrospect, I've realized that a few years ago I wanted to be a vegetarian, book reading, recycling, environment loving, hard working actor. All of those seemed impossible or hard to maintain but after time, I've done it and I don't even recall when the transition began. But now, here I am. So perhaps I should just let life run it's natural course.

I need to plan smaller goals in order to obtain my long term goals.
Perhaps I need to work hella hard right now, grind it out so I can live easier later.
Such as, taking every extra shift offered.
HOWEVER, this is difficult too because I need to find balance, I am not willing to neglect my mental health for it and my mental health requires me to have breaks of relaxing and taking "me days."

- SAVE ALL THE MONEY I CAN. (It's hard because, I have two forms of debt I'm trying to pay off, phone bill, netflix, mandy subscription.) Which, I understand that isn't that bad, at least I'm not paying rent and paying for food. But I can hardly afford what I do I have to pay. But, if rather than having $200 spending money throughout the two weeks, I'll start by doing it with only $100, then perhaps no spending money. This will eliminate my impulses to spend money on materialistic items.

I'll figure it out, there's no rush. I have my whole life ahead of me. I'll start working on myself more and more now and we will see where life takes me. Because. this far.. it's taken me to a pretty good place.

"Hold the Vision. Trust the Process."