Since I was fourteen, I've always relationship jumped. I have barely been single since I was fourteen years old, for context - I am twenty seven years old now. That is 13 years of relationships.

I rushed into every single one.

I would meet someone, I would be interested, there would be an attraction and one side of codependency is wanting to hold on to people, because fear of abandonment. Which is what side I am on.

I would always seek validation from outside sources, primarily intimate partners. I felt unworthy and loved unless I was dating someone, or had someone like me and with that - we would end up getting to know each other W H I L E we're dating. Therefore when we're not as compatible as we initially thought (lust), it is now a break up and "heart break." aka, alone again, scared and feeling invalid because I am losing my validation of love.

It was a me.problem. I was unnecessarily hurting myself over and over again.

Now that I have begun working on myself, I don't see the need to seek outside validation. I am learning to love myself as I am, yet continually growing in ways most beneficial to myself. It has made me want to work on myself to my fullest potential so that I can be a great partner for my future partner.

Taking it slow and genuinely getting to know someone before immediately jumping into a relationship with them is so rewarding. Learning organically about their history, their opinions, their thoughts and their goals, etc. is great. It is fulfilling to slowly learn all about them and seeing if your ideologies are compatible. You can learn if this will actually work long term, saving yourself from a break up and slowly you begin opening up to one another and it feels amazing.

If you like someone, get to know them for some months and build a genuine bond. Strengthen your relationship and if it's meant to be, it will be. and if it's right, the feelings will only grow stronger.

For the first time in my life, I am doing just that and it feels amazing.