it's late at night and i decided to write something because i'm feeling really sad. I feel dumb and unworthy, i hate myself. I think about people who saw me today and how bad they must have thought about me and how they must've hated my words and my presence.
Sometimes I feel I should be dead. Like when I die on a videogame I low key wish it was real, but i change my mind as soon as I look at my dogs and at my family. I'm crying.
Today I went really bad on an exam everyone considers easy and they said "someone with your inteligence shoudn't get bat grades at a test like that" and I felt like a piece of shit. Still do.
Well, at least I didn't ate anything I shouldn't today, while everyone was eating pizza, I ate my vegetables and i feel proud of myself. If I was skinnier I think I would feel less detestable.
I'm sleeping late even tho I'm so damn tired.
I think I'm faithless, i have no strengh to pray to God.

04-08-20, I already lost that kgs I thought I never would, now it's only 10 more.
goodnight.