2/8/20

sooooo, I hate to admit it.
but I think I ruined Eid for myself.

I got caught up in the past and held stupid grudges.
I practically forced myself to reminisce the past.
I actually listened to someone else negitivatity and let them let me down.
I just really missed my brothers.
I just missed having someone my age.

I want to think that I'm changing my mindset.
but, I wonder if this forceful "change" is actually damaging to my mental health. I want to be more mature, but, I can't help but think that the price to maturity is my personality.

everyday since school shutdown has been a blur.
I know I should be studying, but Im just so dead inside.
I wonder how I'm gonna handle being alone with my bhabi.