I want to call this “series” 1 AM thoughts because I think that’s more eloquent but no I didn’t write any of this at 1 AM like I did last time. I just am/write like this at all times.

Here is the last one I did of this type of article:

You do not need to have read it to understand this article, because that one is about everything and nothing, just like this article.

I have favorite parts of songs. Those parts you need to LISTEN to undistractedly and APPRECIATE fully. Or I’ll literally go back 30 seconds to appreciate it once more but BETTER. In Bleachers’ Wake Me there are two of those moments. The first is at the very beginning, there are a few drums and a “tsjick” and I have to snip my fingers when it’s Fully Appreciation Time. The second one is what you’d consider at the bridge of the song, an instrumental part that feels very atmospheric. The best way to appreciate that one is to throw your head in circles…. for whatever reason.

I also love it when the artist sings the lyrics the same way throughout the song, but at the end it’s in a different tone and you really hear the passion and emotion in the singer's voice. This occurs in Taylor Swift’s Betty (from her new album) too, that’s why that one is my favorite from the album for now. It’s also in Marina’s I Am Not A Robot at the end, where she’s like “GuEsS wHaT???? I am NOT a robot!!!”. Amazing.

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diamonds, ♡, and marina image
For those videos to be in here I had to heart them from youtube and guess what box I had to tick off from WeHeartit? “I Am Not A Robot!!!” lol.

The thing is that I listen to music mostly when I’m doing other things, such as cleaning my room, painting, scrolling through apps on my phone, walking to and sitting on public transit etc. I rarely have the time to look into the lyrics while listening to music, especially since English isn’t my first language and some artists don’t articulate properly (cough The 1975 cough). That’s why I THRIVE off of Genius.

Genius. I love Genius so much. It’s the place where every lyrics to every song can be found, also with meanings of songs. Now, everyone can of course interpret music on their own but I like knowing what I jam along to. Or used to use as my power-jam-and-prepare-for-the-day-song while walking to English class every Tuesday morning in high school. Like how “now we're just outside of town, and you're making your way down” is indeed about blowjobs. :)

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Genius also has a YouTube where it has artists explain what their songs are about. Now, this was all fun and games and I used to be subscribed to them for a while. But then The Backpack Kid came on where he explained his song “Flossin”, which is just him deadpanning monotonously “I be flossiiiiiin’ ”.Plus the iconic “mAyBe i’M tHe MONSTEEEER”. it was time for Thomas to leave. He had seen everything.

Catcalling is weird. Or even to be checked out by boys on the street. During my teen years, I was very insecure about how I looked and used to not make eye contact on the street, let alone try to get boys’ attention and perhaps even flirt sometimes. I did get checked out though. According to my mum. She’d say that boys are staring and I’m like “???? Didn’t notice”. I didn’t care either.

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I luckily haven’t been catcalled a lot. I remember this one time I got yelled “ginger” at because my hair glows in the sun. I felt pretty embarrassed at the time but looking back on it that’s so stupid?? I love my hair and ginger is something to be proud of. Those boys should be embarrassed if they think shouting “insults” at teenage girls across the street is okay.

The thing about catcalling is that it’s a double-edged sword. Especially during your teen years and you’re looking for confidence, in my experience you do kind of want attention from boys because that means that you’re attractive to them, which cranks up your self-esteem. So if you’re catcalled a lot, that must mean that men think your body is attractive, right? I talked to my friends about this and it never happened to them and were talking about it like being catcalled does mean something.

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As if your self-worth is defined by how men were distracted by looking at your tits and decided it was a good day to let you know in a derogatory manner you have nice tits. And again. And again. Making you feel uncomfortable every time. Feeling too scared to say anything, especially if they’re in a group.

Fuck that.

I was on holiday this week and I bought a crop top for the very first time. I never had the tits or self-confidence to pull it off, so I felt a bit uneasy wearing it in public. I wear high waisted jeans like my life depends on it so you saw maybe an inch of skin, but I was still pulling it down and then up again because it also had a v-neck and we wouldn’t want the little bow of my bra showing!! It was quite difficult to manage as I can be expressive with my hands and putting my hands above my head resulted in the crop top coming up. It was an interesting experience. I was told that some dude was checking out my ass while I was getting some cake batter ice cream. It tasted exactly as you’d expect but it was still kinda gross.

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I went to a seal safari! Which was, quite literally, going on a boat, taking the first hour out of the two to get out of the canal and go to the seals, then turning the boat around a couple of times to make sure everyone could take 4738 pictures, and going back. The boat didn’t go looking for them, it just went to a small area of land out in the sea where there were seals just chillin. I still wonder what they would’ve done if the seals abandoned the place and had to explain to 300 ish people, everyone perfectly separated by 1.5 meters, why there were no seals.

On this boat trip I also managed to get a sunburn on my forehead, and only at the edges because it’s hard to put on sunscreen without a mirror. This happened a few days ago and I still have 1 cm of red skin separating my hair from my forehead. As said before I have sunglow ginger hair + freckles which automatically gives you free tickets to the “getting burned in oddly specific places” show.

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This sunburn is definitely in my top 3 of the most embarrassing burns. Though nothing can top the one time I forgot to put sunscreen on my back, proceeded to lay in the sun for an hour, which resulted in having a redhot square on my back for the rest of the summer.

Bad reviews are amazing. The one and two-star ratings are where the juice is AT! Most of the time they’ll complain about the smallest things, too, for example, “ the restaurant was super busy and we had to wave at the waiter after waiting for 15 MINUTES before they would ask us what we wanted to drink! While the restaurant was clearly understaffed and still doing everything to help everyone properly, 15 minutes is TOO LONG! It was a disgrace and outrage and we just got up and left! Never coming back here and advise everyone to do the same!! 1 Star.”

Like, do you see the issue of your complaint? People are quick to complain about service when it takes just a bit too long. The servers are just trying their best.

On the same topic, on holiday I went to some restaurants and LET ME TELL YOU how hard it is to lunch anywhere if you can’t eat cheese or ham. The Netherlands is obsessed with that stuff. Lunch menus usually have many different variations of grilled cheese, sandwiches with various meats and vegetables AND CHEESE. Oh wait they have burgers? Oh nevermind it’s a CHEESE burger. Oh a salad? Sike, we put feta cheese in there!

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Being allergic or “having to gag when you put X in your mouth” to the main foods in your country can be hard. You always have to look up menus first to make sure you can eat something there. And yes, I have to gag when I put non-pizza cheese in my mouth. I found out that I hadn’t overgrown my dislike of cheese when someone I kinda sorta had a crush on bought me a grilled cheese and dared me to eat it. Then I gagged and spit it all out in a garbage can at the bus station. Good times. Know your limits when you’re tryna to impress someone.

Sometimes you just gotta look up all the auditions of the One Direction boys because their 10 year anniversary passed a few days ago. And then listen to One Direction on repeat, as I’m doing right now. I am not ashamed to say it: I used to have a 1D phase. I’m sure many of you can relate. This was around 2013. I was introduced to them with “Live While We’re Young” at a very cringy first and second-year school dance.

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Since high school in the Netherlands doesn’t work the same in other countries, imagine a middle school dance, everyone is about 12 and awkward and wants to be cool but ends up being an embarrassment. My embarrassment during those dances comes from the one time I was locked up in a class room by a teacher. But that’s another story.

My then best friend screamed at me that “THIS IS ONE DIRECTION!!!” while we were dancing or “dancing” by jumping awkwardly in our place. She was also the one that used to have a cardboard cutout of Liam Payne in her closet and you cannot tell me she didn’t make out with at least once. I am proud to say that I wasn’t that obsessed over them.

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I mean, I never got merch or went to their concerts and I only knew a few popular songs back then. Maybe I was just a light Directioner? That being said, I did watch most of the 1D day they did back in 2013. That was… interesting and very forced. They have some very intense fans.

Now in 2020, I like listening to them, I recently found out that most of their songs are genuinely good, they got some bangers in there plus they got some real talent. They won’t win me over with their charms, I won’t obsess over them. Like a few girls with a senpai complex in a video I saw, where they were chasing the 1D taxi like the zombies the Walking Dead. I never had a celebrity crush either. I just don’t get that.

How can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met? You don’t know anything about the real them, their traits and quirks and bad habits, their knowledge about memes and whether they like pineapple on their pizza. The only thing you can find out is their basic info like birthdays and where they grew up and maybe a bit of early life and probably pictures of their feet because there apparently is a genuine database filled with celebrities’ feet. NOT THAT I GO THERE but yeah it is a real thing. I guess you are able to find a lot on the internet.

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I mean, yeah I guess I was kind of obsessed with Foxes back in 2014 when I made my entire previous account about her and references to her music, but I was just fixated on her music! No stalkerish behaviors on my part, thank you very much.

Sometimes it feels like people forget that celebrities are people, too, when they’re goggling at them like they are zoo animals. They deserve their alone time and to privately go out and eat in restaurants without being bombarded by fans wanting a picture. And that picture won’t even mean anything, as it’s a forced smile by the celebrity cause they can’t shoo you away, and the entire moment you spent with them was just smiling at a camera so you can show it off.

Paparazzi are another step worse, ‘cause you KNOW they are waiting for a nipslip, a slip-up of words they can use against them or a 2007 umbrella Britney Spears moment they can blow up in their empty-worded articles (this was a joke but for real, #FreeBritney).

Those articles are so pathetic, too, it’s always something like “OMG! Taylor Swift wore the same cardigan twice!!!” (hehe did you see what I did there). As if people don’t have washing machines. Gosh just grow up. Who even reads those stories? Genuine question. Although my lovely grandma (RIP) used to have those Dutch paparazzi magazines that are even duller, ‘cause all they would report on the king’s second cousin's new hairdo.

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That’s it for now I think. People were very kind about the first one of these articles so here you go, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you liked this one too, although I’ll probably keep writing anyway because I had fun writing it, it’s kind of like keeping a diary filled with stories, thoughts and rants that I want to share with all of you :)

On that note, check out Maryam’s (@enchahnt) articles as well, she makes these very cute “excerpts from my diary” articles and her and my articles are a bit similar. Although hers are very positive inspirational and mine are about a friend supposedly making out with her cardboard cutout of Liam Payne. Whatever floats your boat :)

~ Sabine (@the_night_skies)