Dearest,

"𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒" like it was easy.
They don't understand what it's about,
food should be a gift for everybody,
and I know, as a lot of people in the world are starving and
I can't eat properly I sound futile and ungrateful.

Anorexia is not a whim.
It's something someone would appeal to feel a little better, then ending up in a cycle.
I thought I would stop when I was skinner,
that everyone would stop it when they were older,
but anorexia kills.
I never knew it was that serious,
that anorexia kills more than any other mental illness,
but to be honest,
I wouldn't care
At the moment I don't worry about it yet.

Image by tenderly rose, blackpink, and park chaeyoung image

Anorexia has given me my life rules,
so even if everything is falling apart,
I know how to live, how to act, what to say, what to eat...
I feel so much safe.

food, healthy, and delicious image food, strawberry, and cake image

I don't understand why my family and friends are worried about me,
to me I am only getting closer to perfect.
I feel that if I'm not really skinny
I don't deserve to be loved,
and I really want to be.
Wish they would stop trying to feed me at any oportunity they have,
if they only knew how great it is when
the numbers are lower on the scale, they woldn't be so angry.

food, aesthetic, and drink image Image by ghandi

I must be very competitive
because I can't ever eat more than
any other person in the room.
I realize now I always tried to be somebody else,
and now, the only thing I need to try is to not eat.