~ hi everyone!!

i've never written an article before but i haven't been very good these past weeks and all my friends are on vacation with their families and i don't wanna ruin it for them. so i decided to write here. since no one knows who i am, i feel free to write without any judgement attached to it.
basically this last month has been very hard for me. i don't think i've ever been this insecure and sad since last year but here i am. i've tried so many things to try to ease my mind but none help because i feel it all helps me get away with reality for a few moments but it actually doesn't help reality.
i've been eating very badly and i never feel like working out because all i think is "what's the point?". i completely lost all self love and self worth. i feel like a joke. i want to be healthy but i eat junk food and don't work out. i want to reach my dream career but i hate myself so much don't i end up not doing nothing that will benefit me in the future because i don't feel like it's worth the try.

i'm at my lowest right now and i don't know how to get up. i also can't ask my parents for help because they will just call me "lazy" and won't try to understand.

as i'm writing this i'm realizing how pointless this is but if i started it might as well finish. i hope that i get better, someday. and i hope and never get back to this.
if anyone reads this and feels the same way, at least, i hope you don't feel alone.

have a good day !