So,
it's been some time since i last talked to you guys.

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I think we can all agree that 2020 has been (and still is) a rather peculiar year. I've been on and off social medias because things got too much to handle and everything just became a nightmare.

But ๐™ž'๐™ข ๐™—๐™–๐™˜๐™ . I felt the need to write to you guys, who maybe are struggling as well, or just need a friend. I'm back and with a lot to talk about. I'll start again with the tags, challenges and stuff like that, mostly about books, literature, kpop, music, aesthetics and so on.

But also with more personal ones, my skin journey (i'll talk about this in a bit and i promise you the tea is h o t), โ€œ glowing up โ€ in the sense of finding myself because i feel as lost as ever. Will it end someday?
So please stick around to see what this lil clown will do.

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N o w,
accutane?
I wrote it while crying. Sorry, i was just kidding. (Definitely wasn't kidding.)
I think i'm one of the few cursed souls who didn't actually get better with accutane. deep sigh.

With the whole lock down and virus situation i couldn't see my dermatologist, so guess who had the wrong dose? Exactly, you got it right: me. ( ยฐแด—ยฐ)~
The dermatologist will give the patient a dose and then if it doesn't seem like it's working, he/she will change it or just interrupt it. You know, doing his/her job.
Not seeing mine for months led to one result: my skin is exactly the same, even after 6 months on the cure.

Did i lose hope? Hell yes.
Was i sad, angry, discouraged? Like crazy.

But did i stop there? No. No, i still want to work on myself, i still want to finally be comfortable in my own skin. Unfortunately, i wasn't able to get it when i expected, but it's fine.
In September i'm going to start it again, with a new dermatologist and with the same excitement. I'll go in depth with accutane in another article, and of course i'll bring you guys on my journey! (For real, this time. Pinky promise)

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I feel really lost, alone. Empty. I'm not going to lie to you guys.
This summer is feeling like an uncomfortable dream. I don't feel productive, or mindful or any of that motivational stuff on youtube. I lost some people, i feel disappointed in myself for not being pRoDuCtIvE and not actually doing something with my life.
That's why i'm excited to get back on here:
i'll take you guys with me!
We can put our lives together. At least try to, because we all know we're never going to be fully satisfied.

If you want to, you know where to find me.
Here, swimming in my own misery. ส• โ€ขแดฅโ€ข ส”

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