I`ve been seeing so many articles about toxic friends on the platform and i decided to share my experience, which is going to be in general, because I had so many toxic friends by the present moment i can not even count them all. Also, in my opinion, fake friends and toxic friends are just the same thing - neither of them are not your friends.
  • The thing I am sure guilty of is believing in honest and true friendship and believing that people are generally good and have good intentions towards others. And I realized that was the main reason I was tolerating horrible behavior of these so called friends.
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  • The other part of my guilt is something I wasn`t fully aware of, and I wasn`t aware of it because I really didn`t care about those things. I honestly thought it didn`t matter. But it did. It is about the following. ☟
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Last year I had a summer job in an international company, it was highly formal environment, full of highly educated people and I had a great time working there.
  • Months after, many of them stayed in touch with me, being genuinely friendly which really surprised me. Among them is my boss too, and one time I mentioned him that fact. His reply hit me:

- Of course they all want to be friends with you, they think you are a great person, so smart, you are willing to help everyone, you don`t do gossiping, you are also well educated and well mannered, not to mention your sense of style which is impeccable. If you ever had some friendship issues in the past, it is solely because you were so much better in everything then everyone else.

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  • That was it. Those words hit me so hard because they were truth. I was genuinely friendly with so many toxic/fake friends throughout the years ignoring they true agenda. And I realized what are toxic/fake friends really up to. First of all, they are envious of you or of some of your traits and second - the most important thing on their agenda is that they are using you.
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💢 If you have good grades, they will hang out with you just so you could give them answers on the test.

💢 If you have nice clothes, they will hang out with you just so you could give them some pieces from your closet.

💢 If you are good looking and boys are always after you, they will hang out with you just so they could be noticed because they are in your company.

💢 If you have money, they will hang out with you just so you could pay their coffees and drinks.

💢 If you are sympathetic, they will hang out with you just so they could drag you down with their own problems and misery.

The list goes on and on, but I think that point is very clear.

🔑 So, 2 key verbs in every toxic/fake relationship are to envy and to use. I hope all of you reading this article will be able to !detect them on time, and that you are not going to let anyone take advantage on your good nature.

Image by ⚜️Luna de Antiguedades⚜️
I also hope you will find this helpful, because it is written from slightly different perspective than the other stuff you can usually read about toxic/fake friends.

Wishing you all good, genuine and true friendships!

-Maya

maya_gray
maya_gray
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Bye! 🙂