TW: body dysmorphia, eating disorders, body image, and mental health.

❝ You're not what they say you are. You are more than the compliments you receive or the ones you don't. You matter much more than the way you look. You are a soul, a powerful individual human being with dreams and ideas. The worth that you have comes from that, not from what clothes you wear, your hair, your shape, your acne, or anything else. In the end that doesn't matter. ❞ Remember that.
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If you're having trouble with the way you look, I want you to understand that I'm not advocating for people to "let themselves go" or becoming unhealthy. I find it disgusting that some people automatically think that not caring about the way others view you = ugliness and unhealthy.


❝ So what does it mean then? What exactly does letting go of your vanity bring into your life? ❞
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For starters, being vain is unhealthier than being someone who is overweight. I think that a lot of people like to pretend that someone who is obsessed with always looking perfect and who can't leave the house if they don't look good is better than being a person who simply has a body that isn't as petite as others. To clarify (something I'll be doing a lot in this article because I don't want to hurt anybody), what I mean is that your mental health should also be taken into account instead of just your physical health.

A lot of people are pushing for extremely harmful habits and ways of life in the name of "glowing up" which all eventually will hurt you in the long run. Habits such as calorie counting, excessive exercise, punishing your body, and dangerous DIY treatments that can ruin the chemical balance your skin has.

If you let go of vanity, though, you suddenly become more aware of the way these things may hurt your health overall and you're less inclined to do things just to impress others with your looks. A person who only cares for their body as something that is sacred and their's doesn't look to others for self-assurance, they know that no matter what they do to their body it's their choice at the end of the day. It really irks me to see others mock and ridicule people who are brave enough to experiment with their body because it may not match the beauty standard, but it also irks me when others do the opposite as well and make fun of people they consider "basic."

Not everyone is going to be willing to go against the grain and they don't have to. Don't be a hypocrite.


❝ You're not here to f***ing please anyone. ❞
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Here's a controversial take: Because people are more than the way they look, they aren't here for your enjoyment and that goes both ways.

I see this all the time on social media: "Don't post bikini pictures if you don't want to be objectified," "She was asking for it," "I don't understand how women want to be respected and then post things like these," (this goes for every gender, but I'm using what women face as an example since I am more familiar with this experience). I'm going to try to explain the issue with comments like these in the best way possible...


So many people misinterpret feminism and think that it's this stupid rule that women who are more open rule the world while the others are looked down upon. Feminism is a broad concept that women should be free to express themselves however they want even if that means they want to be seen as traditional or as liberal because honestly who cares? Do people really care about what you wear or are they just projecting?

Now I ask those of you who objectify the gender you are attracted to periodically to stop. Think before you speak and remind yourself of the following:

✿ You're not the center of the world.

✿ That stranger you just saw will most likely not appreciate you treating them as though they were an interesting piece of furniture.

✿ If someone keeps reminding you that they're not interested, those aren't mixed signals and they don't want anything to do with you romantically.

✿ Ask for consent before ever making any sexual advances both verbally or physically in any circumstance.

Even if a man or woman is cool with being objectified, that does not mean that you should mistreat them. You are not above someone else because you don't like to show your body and vice versa. Calm down.

Wear what you want or do what you want. If you do it to impress someone you like, go for it. If you do it because it's your right as a human being to express yourself, go for it. If someone doesn't like it then it's their problem for caring so much about hating you.

I'm so sorry if that all came across as confusing. It used to be for me, but as I grew older and learned more I realized that it all makes sense.


❝ What if I want to lose weight and look good for my own pleasure? ❞
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Then that's amazing! If you want to change the way you look because you want to look like a better version of yourself, then do so. It doesn't matter if that means gaining or losing weight or looking "ugly" in the eyes of society as long as you love yourself and are doing it to continue to express your identity. Just remember to stay safe!! I don't want any of you to hate yourselves.

Again, remember you're more than the way you look.


Thank you for reading!


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