Dear Toxic Friend, I’m glad I lost you.
Puneeth Kumar

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CONFESSION #6

I let people walk all over me, especially my best friend and I can’t drop her even though she is extremely toxic. That the boy that broke my heart just recently came back into my life after he repeatedly tried to get with my best friend. She played along with him despite my feelings. She constantly hangs out with him without me, KNOWING how I feel about him. Every time I ask her to hangout with him when were together (because they live in the same area, and I don't) she says no, but then shell hang out with him the next day without me. I told her that I'm the one that likes him so next time she sees him to invite me. Shocker she didn't invite me a couple nights ago, and guess what happened...he walked her home!!! I sobbed all night. I was heart broken because no matter what I do or say she will never stop or take into consideration how I feel. I don't know what to do. Whether I should drop her or not. It's hard because she's my best friend, but I can't keep being friends with someone who doesn't care about me at all. Theres way more to the story of her being toxic but if I were to explain, you would be reading for days. I don't understand how she can be so negligent with my feelings. This stuff happens every day it it hurts, so much. Everyone tells me to confront her but every time I have in the past she's made it into a huge fight. She thinks everything she does is right but if I were to do the same thing it would be HORRIBLE, I would be considered the worst friend in the world. Like its okay for her to do something, but when I do it its a problem. She's so insecure and her entire self esteem relies on validation from guys. Which means it doesn't matter who she's hurting, she'll do anything to please a guy that shows interest in her. I have nothing going for me. A toxic family. A toxic best friend. No luck with boys. No hobbies. Im not smart. I am a good friend though, I support the people I love no matter what and always put them before myself.

We would like to thank the writer for sharing this issue, toxic people in our lives can really bring us down and it’s important to know when and who and filter them from our lives.

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Comment Section

Nadine/@sparkling_tears - Dear anonymous, we all know these toxic people we just can't seem to get rid of. I feel you. I believe that fate sends us the kind of people that we need to learn an important life lesson from. Thinking about that, I would say that it is your turn to find your own worth deap in yourself. Why do I say that? We let people treat us the way we think we deserve it in our deepest parts of our souls. It seems like your brain already realised that especially your best friend doesn't treat you right at all. Now it is time for you to embrace this knowledge with our whole body and mind. A real friends wouldn't go behind your back like that. It is just not ok to act like this knowing about your feeling for this boy. I guess you will be able to let her go, when you invest in your self-confidence. I am just guessing here, but right now you need the assure and the support of your best friend. Maybe you try to invest more in other real friendships. This way you can build a trustful relationship with people who really care about you and you'll get more and more independent from your recent best friend. At some point you'll be able to kick her out of your life. This is a process and will take time, courage and lots of energy, but you can do it! Everybody goes through this process. Nobody is born super confident. When you truly see your own worth, you won't let people walk over you anybody. I hope that this helps you a little. I send you all my love and best wishes!
Paula/@thisismesolar - Sweetie... honestly, reading about that "friend" of yours, I just wanted to... do something bad... sjsj. DEAR, let's get this cleared as soon as possible, that person is crap, and I'm sure, I'M SURE you deserve someone better. You already did the part of realizing that person is SHIT and now we have to say goodbye to that person. This takes a lot of courage and energy, but guess what? Quarantine helps with that. I would block her/him everywhere and try to talk about this topic with someone. Toxic people don't deserve being in your life, I swear, it's going to get better. This is short but I really don't know what more to say, please please please take care, you deserve a good life and you are going to have it soon.
Drishti - If you know that people are walking all over you and you still let them do it then first you need to respect yourself and filter these people out of your life. Only then will they start respecting you.
a) If you know that she's toxic to you then like you would do with any toxic thing, just discard it.
b) Also, she might've been your best friend at one point but when you started feeling toxicity in the relationship is when you should've confronted her. Now she's just taking advantage of your silence.
c) At some point one has to accept that the one we like doesn't like us back and that's the healthy thing to do. That also opens possibilities for new people to enter our lives or look at old people differently.
d) Have you ever thought that those two might actually really like each other?
I) They like each other a lot and that's why they spend so much time together without you. This is also a possibility because they live close to each other. This can also be reflected in him dropping her home.
II) She likes him and is acting on it herself.
e) If the boy has broken your heart recently then it's highly likely that he's the one who's told her to keep you away.
f) If he matters so much to you then don't depend on your friend. Go and speak to him yourself. And clear the air one and for all. You have to take this chance if you want answers.
g) If she can betray you, her best friend for some guy's validation then imagine how little your friendship means to her. You can do so much better than her. Someone who actually values you and your friendship.
h) I'm sorry to hear that you feel your family is toxic but you don't need a guy in your life to feel happy about yourself.
i) Everyone is smart in some way. You just need to find the one thing you're good at and enjoy doing.
j) I'm sure the people who actually matter know how good a friend you are.
THE ONLY FAMILY WE GET TO DECIDE FOR OURSELVES ARE OUR FRIENDS. SO IT'S ALWAYS BEST TO CHOOSE WISELY BECAUSE THAT'S A DECISION WE MAKE.
Anonymous - ok so, i was in a toxic friendship not to long ago. I was a very helpful person and I basically built her mentality into becoming a better person, but now i see i should have left her alone and listened to my parents. I knew that she was enivious of me in some ways, like i knew that i was pretty but she made it seem like i shouldn't be proud of the way i looked. I had so many years of feeling like i was worthless and ugly until finally I realised that i was worth it. One day i made the desicion to cut her out, and block her and delete her number. It was better that way because she always judged me consistantly in everything I do, like she forgot that i was human and that my personality and my life was completely different from hers'. But the one thing that always made me question our friendship, was the fact that she tired to make me into this "ideal" friend. I couldn't handle that anymore.
What your friend did is some what similar to what my ex friend did, i was in a relationship with one of my ex boyfriends and he had this reputation of being a flirt.So one day she told me that he had another girlfriend, I was mad ofc and when i asked him about it he had no idea what she was talking about. I should've taken that as a sign that she was never meant to be my friend. We are all human i we are all gonna make mistakes. But do not be encased in someone's fantasy just bks you care about them. In her mind, all she's doing is not thinking about anyone but herself, so as from one who blocked a toxic person out the same advice i would give to you, you will feel alone, you may break down a cry about it but its better to heal from such things than hurting yourself more in the process.

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