I know I'm ruining myself by doing things I shouldn't, but I help it. It's just like I love to ruin myself more and more these days. I have weirdly started liking it so I do it more and more, cause the things that are ruining my life are the things that I chose for myself and I actually really like doing them. But the problem is the career I chose more like my parents chose for me requires me to do things I personally don't enjoy. Obviously no one enjoys studying but the thing is I don't think I really want to be an engineer. It's a great career choice, I'll be financially stable, blah blah blah. But I'm just going along with it cause I don't know what I wanna do in life. But recently there has been something that I'm really really interested in. Figure Skating. Now I know I'm a late bloomer cause it's a bit late for me to pursue figure skating at age 17 but I really wanna give it a shot. I'm ready to work hard but since figure skating is not available in my country I have to go to other countries like Russia, U.S, Norway, etc. and I don't have enough funds to go there and learn figure skating as its an expensive sport. And my mom made it clear that she doesn't want me to pursue it as my dream is too unrealistic and impractical. What she doesn't understand is that even if I have a high paying in the future it doesn't guarantee my happiness. I don't blame my parents for it though cause in my country unfortunately sports and sports related careers are not as glorified and supported as science related careers. So just because they are forcing me into something I don't like I have generated a habit of self destruction. Cause,I know it's bad but, I want to make my parents feel bad for forcing me into something I don't like. I want them to feel sad for because of them I'm not truly enjoying what I do for a living.

I hope that you guys are not going thru the same situation like me and are able to pursue a career you really want to. I hope you guys become successful in your lives and live a happy life.
(Feel free to dm me if you want to rant/complain to someone about all your problems.)

(Sorry if there are typos or mistakes this was my first article.)