This is an article about Ben.
Benjamin Franklin. whatshis face, Gonzalez?
Is it Gonzalez? I'll have to check my vehicle registration under car salesman name.

This is an article about who he was, what he did to me, and unfortunately, to his family he left behind when we would visit me, but also unfortunately, I was unknowingly falling so deep for this sick sick minded human.

I'm making the most out of my quarantined isolation and learning more about myself than I knew I was aware of. I'm saying hello again to my demons. Once again, fighting them and in hopes this time, this time around I. Will. Win.

I've been changing and learning to accept, to accept my mistakes, my wrong doings, accepting who I was, who I became when I was with him, who we hurt while being together.

I'm still putting pieces together of what was and what happened.
It isn't until now that I'm realizing that the time he posted a photo of who I now know was a strong woman, a mother, fighting for her marriage.

I didn't know, I believed I was your one and only with knowledge that you would be a cheater but hoping you had more respect than that, that your parents taught you better.
Although, they did not.
Your background, being from Woodland? Wood something out in the middle of no where in the Central Valley.
Knowing the relationship you had with your parentals, it wasn't somewhere a child can develop strong skills of empathy for women.

As I'm searching for answers to my lifelong mistakes, I was in bed with my loving boyfriend saying my thoughts out loud as I can hear the frustration in his breaths, I say
"This is something I just needed closure with and I'm understanding this now"

What I'm referring to is,
upon the course of intercourse, it's something that happens to the souls involved. The souls are dancing and if they like what they have inside each other, the love will show during and most importantly, after.

If they enjoy each other, the less dominant will surrender at the end physically and mentally.
Physically, they will turn their body to face the dominant.
Mentally, they will be willing to open their hears and mind to what they have to say and do.

If you are a woman reading this,
It. Is. Okay, To. Be. Dominant!

refer back to history on why woman were taught long ago that dominant were unacceptable. Times. Have. Changed.

Back to Ben,

Part 2. Coming Next.