You came back after a few months of fully leaving you suddenly returned. I don't know what brought you back. I'm thankful to have you around again but my heart is afraid of you. Your true colors were shown when you were ok with leaving, no remorce at all. I missed you but my eyes are wide open now. I can no longer fall blindly for you, I can not guarantee that you'll stay. I wish we could sit and talk about things, open minded and like adults. My heart ached for you to return and now you're here but I don't feel like I can trust you with my heart anymore. I feel lilke we are in a cycle of love and pain. I have loved you for so long, my feelings never leaving after having my heart shattered. My heart will always long to have you be mine again. To get married like we talked about when we were 18, start a family, and experience life together. Sadly I feel like the universe has other plans for us. In october we will have been broken up for 1 year but our chapter ended fully in may. We have a book of many chapters and stories. Some of my greatest and worst memories are with you. I miss you everyday. I love you always. I used to keep my eyes half shut to unsee the things I was unahppy with and didn't deserve. But now my eys are wide open, in a chapter that had some color you ended it with filling up the pages full of colors. I have now seen your true colors and they didn't make me love you any less. They just taught me to keep my eyes wide open, even if it means I see things I don't like. Remember that rosegold glasses can only hide red flags for so long. One day the love you deserve will present itself and from then on life will be even more incredible. Wait for that sweet love that you know you deserve. I will adore you forever, I hope we can start a permanent story one day.