07/12/20

vienna, view, and beautifully image
Will I ever be enough? Enough for something longer than short? I am not that girl who will remain in your memories neither am I as pretty as her nor will I ever be good enough like her at least not for the long game.
clouds, sky, and theme image
How can something break you when it didn´t even start yet? How can I be sure about not losing you to her? Tell me how? Can you promise me that I won´t be laying on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out because you left me? You once asked me why I don´t trust myself. I remember not being able to give you a proper answer. I was afraid. But to be honest I am not scared of me with you. I am scared that you are just playing me so you can get what you want moving on afterwards like nothing ever happend. So no, I do not trust you but I also do not trust myself for not falling like a fool for you.
cherry, fruit, and hands image
I was 17 when a boy that I didn´t even date broke my heart. He left me in pieces and moved on. Acted like he didn´t care at all. Left me on read just to pop up on my phone when I was finally feeling better. I gave him my heart. I gave him my trust. I shared my thoughts with him. It didn´t bother him so I never heard of him again. I hope I see you again one day. Not that I still care about you. I just want to show you that I moved on, that I´ve got it all together, that I am worth fighting for not like you did. And still I can´t feel it. I am not good enough. It is your fault. You destroyed me so much that I am still feeling like this. That I can not see my own worth. It is all because of you but how can I blame you when I know you never had these intentions? Yet still I´m here crying myself to sleep over another boy since I don´t think of me being good enough.

xenia