I don’t get it at all, why do I cry every night without knowing the reason? I just can’t stop the tears from falling, it’s all getting too tough for me, I’ve wasted so much time doing absolutely nothing, instead of letting myself heal, I did the opposite. I’m such a clown, what a joke. i'm so stupid for taking this year off to focus on myself, and to let myself heal. Instead, I did the complete opposite, which is hurting myself over and over again. you really don’t learn from your mistakes do you? you’re a joke, a big fat clown living in the circus you made for yourself. why? just why did you have to dig a deeper hole for yourself? you know you’re facing so many issues, yet you stupidly decided to get yourself into more trouble. fantastic work there, you’re performing great in that circus. you’re putting on a great show, and I applaud you for that.