Sometimes seeing how a thing shouldn't be, makes you want to avoid that thing or it makes you want to create a better thing...

I'm almost not sure whether I have the right intentions when it comes to creating a family because I never thought babies were cute and the idea of marriage was always a little old-fashioned for my taste and rather patriarchal and anti-feminist.

Recently I lived at my boyfriend's parents house and saw what a functional family is. Seeing how the adult-kids turned out I could imagine exactly how they were raised. And how their upbringing translated into who they are today.
I don't think that they didn't have to go through traumas since we're all humans, but I think that they had less to do with how they were raised by their parents.
And in general, their family is...very functional in a sense that everyone does something in the house, whether its chores or something they do all together as a family which is THE definition of functional.
Prior to seeing that, I didn't even know what a dysfunctional and functional family was, all I knew is that there are families who are worse.
Families who frequently have violence, and parents who are too busy abusing substances or simply not being around enough that families become dysfunctional.
I was always happy about the fact that my parents were responsible enough to stick around even though sometimes you could tell that they were aching for something else.
But seeing my boyfriend's family I know now that my family is also very far from being functional.

food, italy, and summer image

If I have my own family in the future I want my kids to have certain values from the beginning. I want them to feel like our family is a team that values everyone's personal dreams and belives but at the end of the day we sit at the same table eating together and sharing these dreams and ideas.

Image by خير

My family has roles and hierarchies. The parents are always right because they're parents, and it doesn't matter if you're 18+ and whether you're in a certain place in your life that your parents never had to go through themselves. Parents always know what's best for me. At least that's what my Dad says.
Gender roles are also a huge thing, so huge that it used to mentally drain me since I don't think genders should be as big of a thing as they are.
As a kid, I was pretty much a tomboy and me and my dad shared our interest in cars and baggy clothes so we bounded.
The older my brother got the more he made clear that my brother is a male and therefore should be closer to him and because I am a female I am supposed to be closer to my mom. Maybe he feared puberty of a girl and periods or something.
The years after that our relationship constantly got worse to the point where we're roommates. in fact, my whole family life is just a bunch of people that don't live together but sleep in the same place. It feels like we are just roommates.

house, home, and vintage image

I will raise my kids the same no matter what genitalia they have because cooking and cleaning are important things that every human should know if they want to be independent.
And at the end of the day, I hope that I don't project my traumas on to my kids or do the exact opposite namely spoil them.

If I decide to have a family with a person who I love and I can imagine raising kids with, I want to make a better family.

family, proud, and recovery image
Our generation is so woke and PC I can't wait for our families in the future.
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